


One Night In Paris

by FormidablePassion



Category: Supernatural
Genre: A/B/O, Alpha Castiel, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Finally finished, Flash backs in italics, High School Reunion AU, Just so you are warned, M/M, Mentions of Rape, Omega Dean, POV Dean Winchester, Underage Masturbation, Will be coming back to make edits on previous chapters, wasn't abandonded
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-01
Updated: 2017-12-31
Packaged: 2018-05-30 11:28:36
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 34,252
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6422152
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FormidablePassion/pseuds/FormidablePassion
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It has been ten years since Dean has seen his best friend he has known since he was 8 years old. Ten years since they graduated and went their separate ways with the promise to always be best friends.<br/>He wasn't sure if Cas was going to be at their ten year reunion, the gym decorated in the same <i>One Night In Paris</i> theme it had been for their senior prom. But he was nervous. Tonight, after twenty years of friendship, he was going to finally tell him that he was an omega. He was finally going to confess everything that he didn't tell him the night they graduated.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Please mind the tagging and pay attention with each update. I will be adding tags as well as changing the rating as I go. I have yet to determine what rating it will end up with. Let's face it though, I'm a fan of smut, so probably an E.

He walked up to the doors and opened them while he looking around. That wasn’t nervousness he was feeling. It was...something else. He may be a little nervous. Maybe. He knows that there is only one person that he could see that he would feel that way about though. As he walked through the halls that he hadn’t walked down in over ten years he looked around, amused that this was the place he had spent four years of his life. He wasn’t sure why people thought that those four years were the most important of their lives. Life really started after all the education was over.  


He sighed at that thought. Those four years had been important to him. Well, every year since he was was eight and met his best friend had been the best years of his life. He smiled as he followed the bright, handmade signs with...glitter? Yes, that was glitter. Only one person he knew from high school would still make signs like those. He let the signs direct him back to the gym, as if he wouldn’t remember the way. Nothing had changed since he left here.  
Finally outside the double doors to the gym sat a long table with non other than Becky Rosen. He smiled at her, knowing that she was the one responsible for all the glitter that the janitor was going to have to clean up before school the next Monday.  


Her face lit up with recognition when she looked at him. “Dean? Dean Winchester? I didn’t know if you were going to make it!” She looked behind him then back up to him and asked, “Is your brother with you?” Her grin was salacious. He couldn’t help but chuckle at the crush she obviously still had. She saw something in his brother long before he had grown into the giant moose he had become. “No, Becky. He is still in California. Maybe if he comes to his ten year reunion you can catch him then.” He smiled and winked at her. She giggled. Actually _giggled_. Only Becky. She handed him his laminated name tag with his senior picture on it, with magnets to attach to clothes so as not to damage or wrinkle the fabric, because Becky never did anything in halves.  


As he was walking to the doors leading into the gym he heard her call out “Have a great time, Dean! I’m glad you made it!”  
First thing he did was look around for the open bar that the invite promised. He wasn’t sure he was going to be able to do this without a little liquid courage in him. Especially since there was no one here that knew he had come out. He knew that Becky was a beta, so there was no awkward conversations yet. Hopefully there wouldn't be before he had at least a few shots in him.  


After a couple shots he grabbed a beer and finally turned around to take in the gym. He grinned as soon as he realized that Becky had decorated the gym the same way she had for their senior prom. The theme was _One Night In Paris_. She had even rented the crazy big metal replica Eiffel tower that lit up just like the one in Paris. Becky never did things halfway, that was for sure.  
He smiled as he looked around the gym and remembered prom. 

_He had finally gave in and asked Bela Talbot to the prom. It wasn’t his first choice of a date. He couldn’t have the date that he wanted. Balthazar was going with the one person that he really wanted to go with. He sighed and looked up to the camera as his best friend slung his arm around his shoulders and poked him in the ribs with his other hand. “Smile, Dean. We only have one senior prom.” Looking at the picture later he noticed that Sam had indeed captured a smile, but he was smiling down at his best friend, not at the camera._  
_After what felt like forever and a million pictures Sam had insisted they take because even though their dad was working he would still want to see them. He handed the camera off to his best friend. “Here, Cas. Take a ton of pictures. We both know that I can’t rely on Dean to do it. Even if he doesn’t want to have them taken he will want them later.” It wasn’t until months later that he had realized the wisdom in his brother's words that night._  


_With Sammy waving them off they settled into the limo they were sharing and headed to Bela’s house. When the door was answered both of them were invited in and in true Bela style she made a grand entrance down the stairs. She was absolutely stunning. Since the theme was that of Paris she dressed in a black gown that was right from Paris itself. Strapless with a sweetheart neckline, the front was higher than the floor length back, coming only to about mid thigh. The edges of the skirt were ruffled and the entire dress was intricately beaded, no doubt hand sewn into it, that shined like a million little diamonds. It hugged her in all the right places on her body, just as she like to wear all her clothes._  
_She had never been a stranger to fashion, that was for sure. She wore a pair of stilettos that hand the exact patterns of diamond like beading on them covering the black in delicate patterns that matched those on the dress. Her dark hair fell in soft curls around her face, smoky eyes and deep red lips that made her smile even more beautiful than when she only wore gloss. She was going to no doubt be the most beautiful woman there._  


_He and Cas were both unable to hold back their intake of breath at the sight before them. Cas, remembering himself, quickly lifted the camera and began snapping photos. He forced Dean to take his place next to his date and took several pictures of the two of them along with her parents. Much to Dean’s annoyance Cas had insisted that they take some outside as well._  
_Finally they all loaded into the limo and not two seconds before pulling away from her house Bela pulled out a large flask from her small handbag that she was carrying. One, that Dean noted, matched the rest of her outfit perfectly, of course. She offered it over to both Dean and Cas. They both declined. She shrugged. “More for me.” She tipped it up for another sip before capping it and putting it back in place. Popping a piece of peppermint candy in her mouth she smiled wickedly at them both, sliding closer to Dean. “So, do we have big plans for after this dance, that will no doubt be boring and badly decorated?” Dean just looked at her for a minute doing his best not to roll his eyes. Any one at the school would love to be in his position for the night with her on his arm. Dean however, was not as happy as he could have been. “What kind of plans were you expecting, Bela?”_  


_If possible her grin grew even more predatory. “Well-” Before she was able to finish the sentence Cas interrupted “Looks like we are here!” Dean looked out the window and sighed. They were indeed there to pick up Cas’ date. He let Cas get out first, it was his date after all. Then Bela, he was being a gentleman. He took a few moments, and breaths, and slide out of the limo. He waited outside with Bela while Cas went to the door._  


_It wasn’t long before Cas had handed him the camera and he was taking pictures of Cas with Balthazar’s arms wrapped around his waist. After several different shots, Balthazar's parents insisted in a few group photos. “Alright.” Dean smiled the best he could and handed the camera over and took his place next to his best friend pulling Bela in next to him. They all took several pictures before finally Cas took the camera back and they headed towards the limo again._  


_Almost as soon as Bela had, Balthazar pulled out his own flask and in no time at all he and Bela were sharing their stash of alcohol with one another. They went to dinner at some fancy Italian restaurant that was owned by a friend of Balthazar’s family. Of course because of this dinner, and the two bottles of wine, were on the house. Dean wasn’t about to argue with that. He and Cas had only indulged in one glass of wine, leaving the rest to their dates._  


_Shortly after dinner while in the limo Dean felt incredibly uncomfortable when Balthazar let his hand set on Cas’ thigh a little too high up for Dean’s liking. He looked away over to Bela and slid a little closer to her and smiled. All the while wondering why Cas had said yes to the beta. Balthazar made it very clear that he was only interested in “dating” alpha males. Which in Balthazar speak was code for sleeping with them. He wasn’t really a dating type of guy. So Dean was curious since Cas had always made it clear that he was not interested in anyone who was only after his knot. He wasn’t ready to think of the possibility that Cas might actually want that._

_Finally they had arrived at the school. Becky had made sure that there was even a red carpet for this event. After their dates all but stumbled out of the limo, gracefully at least, there were kids from the photography club taking pictures like the paparazzi for the school year book. Bela and Balthazar loved the attention. Forcing Dean and Cas to pose with them. Later, looking back at the yearbook, Dean was happy they did. They made some pretty handsome couples on that red carpet._  
_The first thing that they four of them did when they walked into the beautifully decorated gym, which was still somehow not up to Bela’s standards, was stand in line and have their prom photos taken. Bela had insisted that it be the first thing they did. “I want to be sure that we get the photo when I am at my best.” She furrowed her brow a bit, “Not that I’m not always looking my best. It will just be better this way.” Their pictures did end up turning out lovely. Dean was glad they did them first because after a few dances Bela had wandered off and he barely saw her the rest of the night._  


_He pointedly avoided watching the one person in the gym he was interested in while he danced with his date. It didn’t take long after Bela wandered off before Cas was by his side and smiling up at him. “I see Bela found her way over to Victor.” He could hear the smile in Cas’ voice. “Yeah. I’m not exactly sure why he didn’t ask her to this thing with him.” He watched his date as she laughed at something Victor said. His date standing off to the side garing but not with enough courage to say something to either of them. Cas answered him though. “I asked him once why they never dated when it was so obvious they were so gone on one another. He told me that he didn’t want to risk breaking her heart. They were going to different colleges and that if they were meant for one another they would come back together eventually.” Dean was too busy watching Victor and Bela interact so he missed the way his best friend looked at him when he said that last part._

_Dean was standing in front of a honest and goodness real and lovely carved functioning wishing fountain that was sitting near the base of the replica Eiffel tower he turned his attention to it then trying to figure out how Becky had even managed to get something that large into the gym._  
_“Becky really outdid herself this year.” He could hear in his voice how much Cas was enjoying his time. He laughed softly at Dean, “She sure did.”_  
_Cas looked up at and around all the decorations adorning the makeshift Parisian streets and the fairy lights that were everywhere around the rest of the gym and sighed. “It only solidifies my desire to travel to Paris.” His tone was wistful. Enough longing in his deep voice that Dean looked at him. “Yeah, it makes me even consider it.” Cas laughed and looked up his blue eyes sparkling in the lights of the replica tower. “If you are being honest, Dean, then we should go. I believe that you would rather enjoy it.” He looked back to the tower, “It is all very beautiful.”_  


_Dean was still watching his best friend. “Yeah, it is.”_  
_“If we go, we could back pack. Do the stereotypical American college thing. Meet all kinds of new people, stay in hostels, discover new foods, not shave.” He chuckled. “Sounds like something I might get enough xanax to take a plane over seas for.” Especially if you were the one by my side. “Then it sounds like a deal. We will have to figure out all the details though. Even if we do it cheap, it will still cost a good amount of money.” Dean wasn’t worried. He was working two jobs and most his money was going into a savings account for Sammy since their dad had finally come back to the land of the living and was working and paying the bills. “We will figure it out, Cas.” They stood there shoulder to shoulder and he couldn’t help but think that he would take any plane Cas wanted him to, as long as he was by his side._

That trip never ended up happening. Never even ended up being planned. It wasn’t long after that He and Cas had both gotten college acceptance letters. In all the excitement they had quickly forgot all about their spontaneous decision to take a trip to Paris together. He wondered if Cas had ever gone.  
He didn’t have much time to think about it before a smaller man was in front of him a few feet away. “Is that really you, squirrel?” Dean took a deep breath, immediately regretting it when he took in the omegas smell. “Crowley.” He nodded in greeting to him. Crowley looked around. “Why, where is your better half? Did the Angel not make it?” Just as he shrugged, because that was the only response that the smaller man was going to be getting Crowley spoke up in shock. “Holy...Dean Winchester, is that…” He pointedly sniffed in Dean’s direction and before he could speak again Dean asked him, “So what are you doing these days Crowley?”  


He leaned back, out of Dean’s personal space, and narrowed his eyes at him. “I run the DMV here in town now.” Dean tried not to laugh. He just couldn’t help it. “Wait, you run Hell?” He laughed. “Does that make you the King of Hell then?” Crowley eyed him but then his eyes lit up and he grinned. “Yes, I suppose that it does.” They both laughed at that before his phone rang and he looked down at it. “I must take this. It was...interesting, to see you again, squirrel. If you see the Angel, do tell him to come find me.” He grinned and Dean wanted to wipe the look off his face.  


He never really cared for the Crowley.It wasn’t until their junior year, when he tried to get Cas to date him, then when that failed he just tried to get Cas to sleep with him, that Dean truly learned that he could hate someone. Cas never had any interest in him though. Preferring to date betas or other alphas that were open to it. Since he never really seemed interested in omegas it limited his dating pool as a gay male alpha. It also hit Dean hard when he realized that Cas never seemed interested in omegas. When he had asked him about it Cas always told him that they just didn’t smell right. Not bad, just not like they were for him. That day Dean had smiled and nodded and did his best to try to hide his disappointment. 

 

Eventually he wandered back to the bar and somewhere between a few more shots, some really bad music, another beer, and catching up with a few other people who all proved to give rather entertaining reactions when they saw Dean, he decided that he could go back to his hotel. He could have stayed with Ellen, she had offered, but he didn’t want to intrude. Besides he wasn’t sure if he would be in any mood to stay at her place after the night was over. He took one more look around the old gym trying to take it all in. It very well could be the last time he was in it. He turned and walked out the doors, waving to Becky as he walked back the way he came. 

He stopped when he came to the hall that led to the school office and the line of cases that held every trophy that had been won since the school was opened. He had slowed his pace as he approached the cases. He ran his fingers along the glass as he walked slowly down. He smiled when he came to the one that held the trophies for his baseball team from the years he played. He sighed when he remembered winning the largest one it held for his junior year. 

_He was nervous. He looked around the stadium. He had seen it earlier in the day and it didn’t look so big and intimidating. Now that it was half filled with people cheering and both teams were there it seemed like it was too much. It made him wonder if he would ever be able to play professionally. He looked around to see if he could spot Cas. He knew that Cas had some family thing that weekend so he told him not to bother._ “Cas, seriously, family first. Don’t worry about.” Cas had only smiled at him when he said that. “Dean, I wouldn’t miss it for the world.” _He still had insisted that his best friend do his thing first. He was aware that there was a chance that he wouldn’t be there in the stands. Not that he would be able to find him anyway. There was so many people there. He was about to step up to the plate. This was it. If he didn’t make sure his team got at least one more run they would probably end up losing._  


_Dean smiled and laughed a little as he thought if this were a movie it would be the point when he looked into the crowd and found the pair of blues eyes he was seeking staring at him. He would smile, his best friend would smile, then Dean would walk confidently to the plate, hit a homerun on the first ball thrown then as everyone was celebrating his achievement, Cas could come down from the stands and they would embrace and share their first heated kiss that promised so much more._  


_This wasn’t a movie though. He never found those blue eyes before he stepped up to the plate. He did know that Cas had never let him down though so Dean chose to believe that his best friend was there, watching, and cheering him on. He did walk to the plate with a confidence he didn’t really feel. The first ball ended up being a strike when he froze. The second one he did manage to hit. It was far out enough that the players on second and third both made it to the home plate effectively winning them State._  


_Everyone did in fact cheer. It wasn’t like it would have been in the movies though. They did congratulate him, but this was a team, a fact that their coach had always made sure to drill into them. They celebrated together. It wasn’t until after things died down, the crowds dispersed, the team had showered, Dean hanging back, always the last to shower, just in case, that he walked out to the parking lot to find one of the best sights he could have seen that night._  


_There in the front of the parking lot, on the other side away from the team bus, was a tall figure in jeans, that weren’t too tight but definitely did things to Dean, and a white shirt, dark boots, messy dark hair and blue eyes shining under the lamp he was parked near. The only thing that made it even better was that Cas was leaning against his Baby. Legs crossed at the ankle and strong arms crossed over his broad chest. He had a playful smirk playing on his lips that made Dean suddenly thirsty._  


_“Cas…” He knew he said it quietly enough that he couldn’t have heard him. His best friend smiled wider anyway. As soon as they could Cas enveloped him in a crushing embrace. “Hello, Dean.”_  


_Dean inhaled deeply, scenting his best friend and barely resisting the urge to shove his nose behind his ear or into his neck. He wouldn't do something so bold in the view of all his teammates. Even if they were a whole parking lot away. “You made it.” He pulled back and smiled big. “I did. I hope that you don’t mind. Sam gave me the keys and told me to take your Baby so that I would make it in time. He said something like my parents P.O.S. car wasn’t going to get me here in time.”_  


_Dean grinned at his brother’s accurate assessment. “Yeah, it is cool. Beats having to ride home on a bus full of rowdy baseball players. But you better not have even left one scratch on her. If you did I’ll be forced to kick your ass.” He knew his best friend heard his playful threat the way it was meant. Even if he did mockingly grab his chest and give him a shocked face. “Why, I’d never!”_  


_He took the keys from him and put his duffle in the trunk to avoid any unpleasant smells in his Baby on the way home. He slid in behind the wheel and took a deep relieving breath. The inside smelled like Cas. It was comforting. “Well, guess we better get going, we have a long drive home.”_  


_“Actually, Dean.” He wasn’t sure he liked the tone of his voice so he looked over at Cas and saw his blue eyes sparkling with mischief. “I booked us a room for the night. I was pretty confident of your teams win tonight and figured we could celebrate and not have to worry about the long drive home until tomorrow.”_  


_Dean just looked at him with his mouth slightly open, “Cas, I can’t. I have to go home to make sure that Sammy is alright. Not to mention I work in the morning.” Cas just wagged his eyebrows and grinned wider, it made Dean think of the Cheshire cat. “Well, I made arrangements for Sam to stay over at Kevin’s for the rest of the weekend. Mrs. Tran was more than okay with it as long as they promised they would get some extra studying in. I also talked to Bobby. He said you didn’t have to come in until Tuesday after school.”_  


_Dean just opened and closed his mouth a couple of times before turning back to look out the front windshield. Gripping the wheel tightly he turned the car on with the other one. “Alright, Cas. Let me tell coach that I won’t be on the bus then you let me know where we’re headed.”_

_They reached the hotel and Cas handed him one of the keys. They spent that night just talking, drinking, and watching TV. They got drunk in a way that they only ever did when they had no responsibilities. No Sam, no school, no work, no practices, no games. Just the two of them. It didn’t happen often. In fact Dean was sure he could count on one hand how often it actually happened. Even though Cas had got a room with two queen beds they ended up falling asleep together anyway. Just the way they always did when Cas would find his way into Dean’s bed. They cuddled up close and when Dean woke in the middle of the night to use the bathroom he had to carefully untangle himself from his best friend. No matter how they fell asleep they always woke up in a tangle of limbs, completely wrapped up in one another. It had been that way since their very first sleepover at the age of eight years old so they never saw anything wrong with it now._  


_He used the bathroom and then quietly slipped out to the Impala. He opened the trunk and got his pills from the hidden panel. He popped one in his mouth and swallowed it dry. He sighed as he put the bottle back. It was his emergency bottle. As he closed the trunk he wished, not for the first time, that he could just not take them and let Cas know. Maybe things would be different._  


_Instead of dwelling on it he slipped back into the room just as quietly as he left. Sliding back into the bed and pressing into the warmth that he had known for almost a decade he gently nosed at the area of Cas’ neck that was exposed to him. He smiled against his warm skin when Cas’ arms snaked around his waist and pulled him as close to his body as possible. Dean fell asleep constantly breathing in the only smell he ever wanted to smell._

Dean smiled painfully at that memory. He thought back on it fondly, more often than he probably should. They ended up cuddling under the blankets while watching crappy hotel tv until the hour before check out. He sighed. He slowly walked again, trailing his fingers once more, making little patterns under the pads of them on the clean glass. When he turned to the sound of two people walking past the hall back towards the parking lot he watched them. He waited as he heard the footsteps retreat, getting quieter until they were out the door. He turned his attention back to the trophy case and continued his walk until he found the one he was looking for. 

The one Cas had won the soccer team their senior year. He actually kicked the winning goal. That was another memory he held onto dearly. Or the night before the game rather. That night was no different than many of the other nights that he and Cas shared. For some reason though he held onto it tightly. Refusing to let it fade. It made his top ten special memories. Maybe it was just the feel of the night. Maybe it was just the way Cas held him. He wasn’t sure. It sure was a special thing for him though. 

_Dean heard the distinct sound of a pebble hitting his window that alerted him to the fact that his best friend was outside his window. He just smiled to himself. More nights than not were ending up this way._  
_He walked over to his window and opened it up looking down at the mop of dark hair and smiled as his best friend since third grade looked up at him._  
_His chest ached as the eyes he knew shone bright blue looked up at him in the darkness and a smile spread across his face._  
_He just made a gesture with his hand that told him to meet him downstairs at the back door._

_He padded down the stairs on bare feet and opened the door, turned around and started walking back towards the stairs. This was their routine when he came over at night. It was only Thursday and it was the third night this week. He was back on his bed with Jane Austen's Emma when his door finally closed, two bottles of water were set next to his bed on his table and a warm body joined him in his bed cuddling up close to his side._  


_He set the book aside briefly and smiled down at blue eyes that made his heart flutter. “Hiya, Cas.” The smiled that accompanied the way he snuggled closer warmed him deeply. “Hello, Dean.” Dean draped his arms around his best friend and hugged him close for a long moment. Leaving one arm around Cas he picked the book back up. “Where are you in this one?”_  


_He smiled. Cas was one of the only people, other than Sam, that was aware of his self imposed challenge to read every book on Wikipedia's 100 classic book collection list (the UK version of course) in a year. Most of them were books that his best friend had already read on his own. He still didn't mind lying in bed at night cuddled up next to Dean while he read. Most nights, Cas would ask him to read out loud so they could enjoy the book together. Occasionally at the end of a chapter they would discuss it. Cas joked that it was like a two person book club. Dean told him that he would never be a part of a book club._  


_Secretly though, he loved the idea of having this two person, intimate feeling, book club. He was sure that other book clubs that existed didn't have this much cuddling. He put his nose down into his best friends hair and just breathed in the essence that was purely Cas and told him where he was in the book._  
_When he was done talking about the book he noticed that Cas was nearly asleep curled up with him. He nudged his best friend gently.”Cas. I need to pee.” Cas simply rolled over so Dean would have the room to get up and go to the bathroom._

_He went into his bathroom and when he was done relieving himself he brushed his teeth and then took a bottle of pills from the towel cabinet that he hide up top behind some old towels that were only used usually to clean up the floor when someone took a rather out of hand bath. He sighed and looked towards the door as he opened the bottle and popped a pill in his mouth. Taking a handful of water and swallowing it down, he turned the water off and returned the bottle to it's spot._  


_He use to use simple body blockers. Between his sports activity, and Castiel's increased interest in staying as many nights as possible curled up next to Dean, he had to beg his doctor to get prescription medical blockers. These worked on a more biological level for him. As long as he remembered to take them he wouldn't have to worry about his scent for a minimum of 16 hours with each pill. He took them religiously. He found himself taking them before bed every time that Cas found his way into his arms._  


_He didn't mind. Not at all. He just knew that if he was to forget to take his pill before bed, there would be a lot of questions in the predawn morning when Cas woke up to sneak back into his own bed to avoid being in trouble. After almost ten years he wasn’t sure how his best friend would react finding out he was an omega. He was also worried that Cas may not even like his smell._

_Sometimes, he wished that he could tell his best friend. Especially since to him, Cas was the best smelling thing on the planet. Even if he didn't have the biggest crush on his best friend he would not kick him out of his bed. He always seemed to sleep deeper with him in his arms and had the most pleasant dreams. Any time that Cas was sleeping with him, he never did dream about his mother's death. He hoped that Cas would never decide not to come to his bed. Even if all he ever got from it was cuddling._

_He crawled into his bed, turned the bedside lamp off, slid down, and curled against Cas tucking his nose into the soft curve of his exposed neck. He learned long ago that his best friend did not care one iota if he scented him. It was something that they had done to one another since the first night they spent together as children. They never bothered worrying about it becoming a sexual thing when they presented. Even if Cas didn’t know that Dean had in fact presented._

_He usually didn't do it so blatantly unless they cuddled up like this. As he inhaled deeply and wrapped his front around Cas' back he heard the smile in his words when they drifted over to his ears. “Dean, my parents said I could stay the weekend here after my game tomorrow night. Would that be okay with you?” He smiled against the warm skin under his lips wishing he could just kiss it. “Of course it would be. That is a silly question.” He hoped that Cas couldn't feel the rhythm of his heart pick up since he was pressed against his back the way he was. Just the thought of Cas curled up against him all weekend left his heart in his throat._  


_Cas just wrapped his arms around his own waist covering Dean's. “You going to be able to make it to the game? Bring Sammy with?”_  
_Dean was slowly drifting off to sleep, suffused with the smell of his Alpha._ No, not his Alpha, just AN alpha, who happens to be his best friend, who he wanted more than anything in this world.. And smells more amazing than anything Dean has ever encountered. _“I think Sammy has some sort of study group or something. I'll find out. Tell you at school tomorrow.” He rubbed his nose a little more right below Cas' ear as he drifted off. Scent marking his best friend without even realizing he was doing it. Little did he know as he drifted off into a nightmare free sleep, Cas was smiling because he knew exactly what his best friend was doing. Even if he was a beta he always scent marked him like an alpha or omega would. And Cas secretly and absolutely loved it._

The smell pulled him out of his memories. At first he wondered if he was thinking so hard about his best friend that he was able to smell him. Then it occurred to him that what he was smelling was probably his best friend in the flesh. He turned and quickly walked back down the hall, following the smell. He was not really thinking. He waited though at the end of the hall trying to gather his thoughts. That was in fact Cas’ scent. Instead of following it towards the gym he turned to go outside. He needed to get some fresh air and clear his thoughts before facing his best friend. They have kept in contact sure, but they haven’t seen one another in person since the summer after graduation.  


They called one another at least a few times a week after they left for college. Texting daily of course. When they both ended up getting busier in their lives it became less and less. They would Skype occasionally, it was wonderful to see his best friend, even if he couldn’t scent him. Then eventually it seemed to taper off. A phone call occasionally. Skype sessions maybe monthly. The random text. More often than not though they would end up keeping up with one another through emails. Especially since graduating and finding jobs that kept them both busy.  


He missed his friend. He had been such a huge part of his life for so many years it was terrible spending just as long without him. He missed the nights they would sleep over and just hold one another the most.

He wasn’t sure how long he was out there before he smelt his best friends scent. His face was turned up to the stars and he smiled as he tilted his head slightly towards Cas. “Hey there, Cas.” His voice betrayed the feeling that was in his chest. It was pounding. “Hello, Dean.”  


He wasn’t sure how far away he was but he knew it wouldn’t take much to scent him. He braced himself. He couldn’t bring himself to look directly at his best friend. So he just continued to look up at the stars. He could see Cas out of his peripheral vision and sighed quietly. He could see the look on his face and make out the way his brows were drawn together in confusion. “Dean?” His voice sounded a little tight, a little deeper, if that was even possible.  
“Do you remember graduation night, Cas?” He barely looked over at him, only enough to see Cas nod. He let his mind wander briefly before continuing. 

_Graduation night. He, Sammy, and John all had dinner with Cas and his family, celebrating their big day. After dinner he and Cas went for a drive in the Impala. It was so cliche, they broke into the school. But instead of the football field, they parked on the soccer field. Laying on the hood of the Impala, staring up at the stars shining on the clear night, they talked about their years in high school, like a spark notes edition of their time in the halls, that now sat empty behind them._  
_Jokes about their friendships with others, how they would come and go into their friend circles, but no one would, or could, separate them. All the promises that nothing would ever separate them. Not truly._  


_Dean ached so badly with the desire to tell his best friend everything. All the secrets he had been holding back since the day he met him. He opened his mouth to do just that._  
_That was when Cas started talking excitedly about his scholarship. He had his choice of soccer or academic at different colleges. Dean was aware. They had talked at length about it and made pro and con lists to decide which was the best option for Cas and his future._  
_Neither was close to the school Dean was going to go to. It hurt to know that his best friend was going to be so far away from him. In the end though, he had helped Cas to decide on going to Princeton on his academic scholarship._  
_When Dean had chosen to go to Washington State. Not as prestige as Princeton, but it was where he wanted to go and he had a full scholarship to get him by. Not to mention that it was closer to California and the school that Sammy wanted to go to after he graduated._  


_So instead of telling his best friend he was an omega, that he wanted nothing more to be with him, telling his best friend that he loved him, he smiled and agreed about how exciting it was. The future. Even without one another in it. If it had been quiet enough, if Cas was less enthusiastic about his college plans, maybe, somehow, he would have heard Dean's heart break. The sound however was lost in the darkness of the night, too quiet to be heard between the short break in excited sentences, to drawn out to be mistaken for anything other than the stillness of the night surrounding them._

“I was going to tell you then.” His voice was barely above a whisper. Yet somehow he knew that Cas had heard him. I was going to tell you so much more. He was still so familiar with Castiel’s scent that he could smell the confusion on him. He tried to cover it up quickly but it was enough. He smelled of so many emotions even one that he still couldn’t place. He was even able to scent the hint of hurt under it all. What made him actually look over at Cas was the fact that of all the emotions he was scenting, the strongest was that of happiness. He stared at his best friends eyes trying to determine if the wide pupils were from the darkness outside or something else.  


“Dean, I would like to be able to go somewhere and catch up. If you would be amenable to that.” His face was one of seriousness of course. “Yeah, Cas. Why not? Where do you want to go?” He looked down briefly as he thought about it. “I am staying at a hotel not far from here. We could go there, or there is a nice diner next to it we could get a late dinner.” He smiled. Cas knew he would never turn down food.”Yeah, let’s go grab some grub.”  
“Do we need to get a cab? I did not drive.” He chuckled. “You should know better, Cas. come on, we can take my ride.” 

They both settled into the Impala and Cas laughed. Dean couldn’t help but turn to him. “I should have known you still had this car.” Dean shook his head as he turned the ignition over “Listen to her purr Cas. She is much more than just a car.” He grinned over to his best friend and felt the years melt away. It was just like it was. Cas in the seat next to him as they drove. Cas even had that amazing smile that made his eyes sparkle. He had more laugh lines around his eyes now but it only made Dean’s heart ache more for him. It added more to Cas in such a good way. 

He pulled out and headed to the diner that Cas told him was next to his hotel. It wasn’t long before Cas spoke up “Do you mind if I roll the window down a little?” Oh. Of course he would want the window down. It was the first time that Cas had scented him in the twenty years that they had known one another and in this small space he was probably practically drowning in it. Especially since Dean was so happy to have Cas here. The happy omega scent was probably overwhelming. He nodded. He also rolled his window down a little too so that air was circulating throughout. It didn’t hit him until a moment later. 

Cas didn’t date omegas in high school. Maybe he never did after either. He always said they didn’t smell right for him. Maybe he didn’t like Dean’s scent. Maybe it was disgusting to him. It would be hard to get a read on his scent with the windows down. He wouldn’t be able to stand it if his best friend didn’t like the way that he smelled. He tried to calm his nerves so that Cas wouldn’t smell it. Even with the windows down he may be able to. 

He always harbored a secret desire that one day when Cas finally scented him he would smell as good to Cas as Cas did to him. What if he hated Dean’s scent?  
“Dean?” He met the alpha’s eyes briefly then looked back to the road. “Is everything alright?” Wasn’t that the question of the night.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry everyone! I know I said I was going to try to do updates on Thursdays, time got away from me yesterday as I spent time with my family so here it is. 
> 
> Now this is a back round filler chapter. I just wanted to give everyone a little more insight to Dean's past. I hope that you all like it.

18 Years Ago

Dean was putting cupcakes in the oven when he heard Cas talking to Sammy as he helped in him with homework. “So Sammy, you’re going to be 7 tomorrow. What do you want for your birthday?” He smiled. Even though they were only 11 and Cas had been his best friend since right before he turned 8 he had always had a soft spot for Sam. He never thought Sam to be annoying like Dean did occasionally or like some of his other friends did. He never made Sammy leave and was always happy to include him in everything that he and Dean did. Cas understood how much Sammy meant to Dean and accepted that. 

He listened while he cleaned up the mess from the cupcake batter and started on the frosting. It was obvious that Sam was thinking. Or still doing a math problem. “I think,” He took a few moments before continuing and Dean did his best to keep his back to the two while he worked, pretending not to listen. “I think what I want most ever, is for Dad to get better.” Dean covered his mouth so they wouldn’t hear his gasp. His heart ached for his little brother. This was a moment between Sam and Cas though. Even if he wanted to turn around and pull his brother into his chest and hold him tight. 

“I’d like that too, buddy. Sometimes though, something happens in your life and it can take a really long time to learn how to live with it. Some people can live with it fairly well, some not so much. I know your dad is trying though. I just think it is hard for him sometimes. Maybe tomorrow he will be up to having cake and ice cream with you after dinner.” Dean just smiled as he heard Sam respond, “Yeah, I hope so. I will make a wish on my cake that he will get better.” Cas always seemed to know what to say so that it wouldn’t make things worse and most times made everyone else feel a little better. “Hey, Cas?” “Yeah, Sam?” “Will you be here for cake and ice cream tomorrow?” Dean smiled. “Yeah, buddy. I wouldn’t miss it.” He heard the smile in his little brother’s voice when he spoke again. “Cool.” 

Dean couldn’t keep the smile off his face the rest of the day. After everyone’s homework was done they all frosted the cupcakes that Sammy was going to bring to school the next day. Dean made sure that his brother ate a sandwich for dinner so that sneaking all the frosting he did wouldn’t ruin his dinner. Before the sun went down he sent his brother up to shower and had brought his dad a glass of water and a sandwich hoping he could get him to eat. 

He sat on the front porch with Cas before his best friend had to go home. “How is he today?” Dean didn’t need clarification, he knew Cas was talking about his dad. He took in a deep breath and let it out slow. “He wasn’t completely gone when I went in there. He might actually eat something tonight.” They sat there in silence for a while. “I just get so angry sometimes.” Cas didn’t say anything just waited for Dean to keep talking. “It is one thing to be like this around me, I have learned to accept it and understand it for the most part. Sammy though…” 

Cas put his arm around Dean’s shoulders and pulled him in. “Sammy will also learn to accept it and understand it, Dean. It may even be easier for him. He has been dealing with this his entire life, he doesn’t remember John before. Not the way you do. It won’t be as hard for him.” Dean turned to meet blue eyes “How do you do that?” He was met with a smile. “Do what Dean?” Dean huffed a little, “Say things like that, like you aren’t only eleven years old. Are you sure you’re not an old man trapped in there?” This earned Dean a hearty laugh. “No Dean. I promise I am not.” 

After a few moments when they both turned their attention to the darkening sky Cas spoke again. “And who knows, eventually John may recover enough that everything will be okay.” Dean wanted to believe that, he really did. But since he had been dealing with this for so long he didn’t get his hopes up. Instead of responding to that he turned to Cas as the street lights came on, “You better get home before you get in trouble.” “Of course, Dean.” They hugged tight. Dean let go first even though he didn’t want to and Cas seemed reluctant to let him go. 

He watched Cas walk down the street to his own home and wondered about the way his best friend made him feel. It was more than how he felt for Sam but he wasn’t sure he was suppose to feel like this for his best friend. Instead of thinking on it too much he went back into the house to make sure that he got his brother to bed and packed up the cupcakes for easy transport for his brother the next day. He would have to go up and check on his dad before he went to bed to make sure that he at least ate half the sandwich that he left for him. 

It was later than he wanted it to be when he finally went to bed. Everything running through his mind at break neck speed. He wondered if his dad would ever be able to find the right balance he needed in his life to properly cope with his mom’s death. If he would ever be able to live again. He wondered if it wouldn’t have been better for him and Sam if the accident that took his mother would have taken his father too. As soon as the thought went through his head he was weighed down with guilt. He would never actually want that let alone wish it. He knew he was lucky to have his father still alive. Even if he wasn't actually living life most days. He did try, it didn't always last, yet he tried. He still wished that he would finally move on. He just wanted to be able to be a normal kid once in awhile. He picked up the photo of the four of them when Sammy was just a baby. He missed his mom. He wished she was here, he may not have known her for long but something tells him that she would have known what to do. He laughed humorlessly, “If you were here, mom, none of this crap would be an issue.” He sighed and set the frame back down. He warred on the inside with his anger and his understanding towards his father. He wished Cas was with him. He would at least be able to talk about it with him. Or not talk at all. Cas would give him a distraction if he needed one.

He needed sleep. He wasn't sure how much of it he was going to get with everything running through his mind. Some time later as he was drifting off to sleep he wouldn't remember thinking that this was all too much for someone his age.

 

17 Years Ago

Dean would never forget the night his best friend first came to him and stayed in his bed with him without it being a weekend or an official night over. It was a Wednesday, comic day. Cas couldn’t make it over before curfew to read the comics and eat junk food with him. He pretended not to be disappointed.  
Aunt Ellen always gave him Wednesday off from The Roadhouse, even if she still did send food home for him, Sam, and their Dad. Dean had yet again tried to refuse the food. He never got far with that though, she always claimed it was a “botched order” but Dean knew that rarely happened. So he would try to pay her for it. She always refused that too, sometimes with the threat to kick his ass if he kept trying. At least Sammy got to eat. He was growing so much usually he ended up eating half of Dean’s food too. Which was fine. Sam needed it more. He could always eat peanut butter and jelly if he was still hungry. 

He was sitting on his bed flipping through old comics, avoiding the temptation of reading the new ones without Cas, when he heard it. He wasn’t sure what the sound was at first. He thought that maybe he was just hearing things. Shrugging he went back to the artwork on the pages below his fingers. He looked up when it came again. It sounded like it was coming from the window? He waited. Once more. He stood up, “What the hell?” He walked over to the window slowly and before he was able to get there it sounded again. But this time he saw a tiny pebble hit his window before falling down. He grinned and opened the window. He smiled wider when he saw his best friend standing below and smiling up at him. 

“Let me in!” He didn’t bother whispering, there was barely a chance that his dad would hear him and Sammy was fast asleep, nothing was waking him until morning. “What are you doing here, Cas?” He knew he must have rolled his eyes at that and only returned “Are you gonna let me in or not?” Dean laughed, “Come to the back door.” 

He made it downstairs and opened the door waiting for Cas to show. It was only a moment after Dean opened it that Cas appeared and gently shoved Dean inside and closed the door. Going to the fridge he grabbed a water, “You want one?” Dean was curious as to why he was here, but not going to make him leave. “Nah, I have one upstairs already.” Cas turned to him with a smile and shut the fridge heading towards the stairs. Dean followed “Cas?” He kept walking. “Upstairs, Dean.” 

As soon as they entered the room Dean asked, “Not that I don’t want you here but what are you doing here?" Cas flopped down on his bed and picked up the old comic. “I missed out on reading comics with you. Thought I would come do it now so you didn’t have to wait until tomorrow.” He tossed the old comic to the bedside table. “Dude, that is last weeks, where is this week's?” Dean laughed and went to retrieve the new comics from the closet where he put them to avoid reading them. 

He tossed them on Cas’ chest and crawled onto the bed behind him scooting down so his best friend was laying between his legs, head pillowed on his stomach. It was a comfortable position that they had decided was not awkward at all for both of their maximum comic reading experience. They eventually took turns on who was reading each page out loud or who read which character. If they didn’t it was inevitable that one would be waiting for the other to catch up with their reading speed before they could turn the page. 

That night they stayed like that long after the comics were read and plot lines, artists, and writers were discussed. They both ended up falling asleep like that. Dean waking up in the middle of the night to piss he nudged Cas over and underneath the blankets setting the alarm for earlier than needed because he would have to get home before his parents woke up. 

That first morning of a stolen sleep over Dean woke moments before the alarm with Cas’ nose pressed to his neck, their legs entwined, and arms wrapped around one another. It was not a new way to wake up when Cas slept over, it was just new for it to have happened on a school night. He turned the alarm off and just watched his best friend sleep peacefully in his arms as he realized that there were no nightmares that night. Not one. Cas had helped keep his dreams safe on a weeknight. 

All day that day Dean was just a little bit happier thinking about it. Even that night his cousin Jo wasn’t even able to get under his skin with her annoying little sister type bugging. He just hoped that maybe it wouldn’t be the last time it happened. He liked having Cas over more than just on weekends. He went home that night with food from Ellen he didn’t even argue about and hoped that Cas would show up again.

13 Years Ago

Dean woke up in the middle of the night sweating and his whole body was aching. His sheets and pajamas were soaked in his sweat and he had the biggest head ache he had ever felt. He looked around trying to focus and wake up fully. 

He tried standing up, he got dizzy and fell back to the bed. Silently he hoped that he had just caught a cold but somewhere in the back of his mind he understood what was happening. He refused to believe it though. Not until he had confirmed it himself. He stood back up, slower this time, and dragged himself slowly to the hall bathroom and looked in the mirror. He looked flushed and his face was covered in sweat. He put his hand to his forehead. Sure enough he was running a fever. He sighed and against his better judgement, and still wanting to deny it, he slipped his hand down his pajamas and into the back of his boxers. What he felt there made him freeze up and his heart simultaneously plummeted and stopped beating. Or at least it felt that way to him.   
His backside was leaking slick. 

He pulled his hand out and looked at it, it wasn’t slimy like he assumed it would be, just wet. Like lube. He sniffed it cautiously. Well, at least he didn’t stink. Well, he didn’t think so. He smelled a like leather, some sort of deep spice he couldn’t and the crisp smell in the air right before an autumn storm. He chuckled a little, the almost storm part reminded him of Cas. He smiled as he remembered seeing his best friend that day at school for the first time in several days. Cas had called him to tell him he was going to be out of school because he had presented and was in his first rut. Dean wasn’t sure how the hell Cas had even been able to make that phone call. He was happy he let him know though. When he had seen him at school the day before Dean almost fell because his knees nearly gave out on him. 

Cas had smelt so incredibly amazing. Smelling Cas had been like having a piece of his favorite warm apple pie with homemade whipped cream on the porch after a summer storm. All sweet cream, cinnamon, apples, and ozone after the summer storm. He shivered now, his body covering in goosebumps, just thinking about it. He figured if Cas had presented it wouldn’t be long before he did. Unless he ended up being a beta. 

He sighed. 

He turned the shower on, grabbed a towel from the cabinet and hung it on the shower door before climbing in to clean up. He was still achy and hot, he still felt like crap. He was almost sure that it was only going to get worse over the next two days too. He was aware that heats only lasted for three days so if he could get through Sunday night maybe he could go to school Monday as long as he didn’t have any lingering scent from his heat. He was glad it was Friday though. He wouldn’t be able to go to school though and he had the weekend. He could feel himself trying to panic but his rational brain was forcing him to think through this logically. He would need to go to the doctor for suppressants. He would need to get blockers, there was no way that he was going to be able to go to school smelling like an omega. If anyone found out he would be kicked off the team. He didn’t even want to think about what the worst possible scenario could possibly be.  
That thought made him shiver again. He knew it was that thought and not the cool water. 

He should probably get some sort of device to help him along with his heat. He wasn’t really huge on the idea of using something fake to help him through his heat but he knew that he needed it. He was going to need something with a fake knot. He smiled as he thought about taking a real knot. One that was attached to an alpha with dark messy hair, bright blue eyes, and a voice that seems to be getting deeper with age. Something inside him warmed, he also felt a stirring between his legs telling him that his cock was taking interest, at the thought that he was an omega, his best friend that he has always had deep feelings for was an alpha. They could make it work. 

Then a thought hit him, he couldn’t tell Cas. No matter how understanding his best friend is when it comes to omegas, no matter how forward thinking he is about their rights and treating them like equals, if he did tell Cas, he would end up being protective.They had always been protective of one another, if Cas, an alpha, knew he presented as omega he would be even more overprotective even if others didn’t know. That would definitely draw attention. 

He washed quickly, intentionally ignoring his erection, and turned the water off. He dried and wrapped the towel around himself, gathered his soaked boxers and pajamas, then headed to the bedroom. He changed his bedding, he knew these clean sheets were probably going to be ruined before long but he wanted to try to go back to sleep in clean, dry sheets before he ruined them. He also decided that he would slip on some more boxers, even if his pajamas were a bad idea. No need to dirty another pair.

He left a note for his dad on his door explaining everything and hoped beyond hope that his dad was fully capable of doing what he needed him to do tomorrow. He was having one of his good periods and Dean couldn’t have been happier about that. The last thing he wanted was to try to take care of Sammy, and everything else, while going through this. With any luck, after Sammy was at school, and his dad at work, he would find a box or bag outside his door with the items he needed. 

He wanted to be able to get some sleep but he felt so irritated and in need so he knew he had to take care of this before he would get any more sleep tonight. He laid back and allowed himself to think on the one person that was sure to always help him when he was taking care of his personal needs. “Cas…” he let his fingers drift down as he said the name quietly in the dark of his room. Moving his boxers down slowly with one hand he was about to slid the waistband under his balls when he thought better of it, he should just push them down his thighs, the slick would get them messy otherwise. At that thought Dean picked up his towel and lifted his hips sliding it under his ass. No need to get the sheets soaked before he had a chance to sleep again. 

As soon as he felt he was prepared he got right to work. As much as he would like to be able to drag this out and fully enjoy it, the intense need was tugging at him, telling him that he had to have some sort of relief from this right now. Closing his eyes and thinking of the way Cas smelled to him the day before at school and the way he smiled at him. For him. He stroked himself. He attempted to go slow. To build it slowly the way he enjoyed. His body had other ideas. He couldn't help but pick up the pace and tighten his grip. He groped his balls gently and some slick covered the side of his hand, he was going to wipe it on the towel when he changed his mind and slicked it up his length and continued stroking fast. He couldn’t help the loud moan that escaped him at the feeling. Somehow it was better than even using lube. He was close. He thought about using his own slick to give Cas a hand job, rubbing it around and into his knot as he coaxed an orgasm out of him. 

That put him over the edge. He came in hot spurts over his belly and felt slick dripping out onto the towel in a steady stream. He shuddered and then shivered as the heat inside of him cooled slightly and the buzz quieted. Sweat on his body cooling along with the small puddle of come on his torso. He grabbed the towel under him and cleaned up the mess of slick between his legs, wiped the come off himself and tossed the towel towards the pile of dirty sheets. Pulling up his boxers he only covered with a thin sheet, knowing that a blanket was going to be too hot. Before drifting off to sleep he had the fleeting thought that maybe he should be a little more freaked about being an omega. 

 

Sunday night Dean had felt much better. His father had left him what he so lovingly labeled the “heat survival kit” outside his door. It included a few omega toys, the suppressants that he asked his father to obtain from the doctor, along with directions that he was not to take them until his first heat had fully passed for at least 24 hours, which meant at least Tuesday. There were a couple different blockers to choose from, a case of water and Gatorade, several different snack options, a plastic sheet for his bed to go under the sheets, so he wouldn’t ruin the mattress, a bottle of ibuprofen so he wouldn’t get too hot or achy, and a note from his Dad. 

_Dean,_

_We are going to need to talk about this after your first heat passes. I will come home on my lunch break to make sure that you have everything you need, if you need something from the store before I come home call me and I will pick it up on my way home for lunch.  
I hope that I remembered correctly everything that I needed to put in the box. It has been a long time since I needed to provide these things for an omega. I will send Sam to a friends for the weekend so you won’t have to worry about him. _

_Dad_

It was nice to feel like his dad was actually taking care of them instead of the other way around. His heart ached when he read omega in the note. He knew he was talking about his mother. He knew that it must have been hard for his dad to read the note and find that his oldest son, the one that reminded him so much of his true mate already, presented as an omega just like Mary. Her death had taken it’s toll on all of them. But none as bad as his dad. He was never a neglectful father after her death. It was just a fact of life, if you were lucky enough to find your true mate, you would be lucky to die with or shortly after them. Surviving the death of a true mate, especially as young as they were, was hard on the surviving mate. After his mother’s death they had a lot of doctors and therapists in and out of their lives. Sammy was too young to remember. Dean couldn’t forget. 

There was a really nice one who told him the truth. Pamela. She was a no nonsense therapist. She gave it to Dean straight even at his young age. Even if she did it in a way that wasn’t so blunt, he was a child after all, she made sure he understood the dangers he and Sam faced if his father never recovered from his mom’s death. She also made it clear that there was a chance that he may even end up losing his dad too. It was then that it hit Dean, losing a true mate was nothing he ever wanted to experience. It made him pray every night that he wasn’t one of the “lucky ones” to have a true mate. Not if it would end badly like his dad and mom. 

His dad finally pulled through. With enough medication and therapy he seemed to even out occasionally. There were still plenty of hard times for them. That was for sure. Dean had been working since he was old enough to pick up a wrench and be put to work in his uncle Bobby’s garage. Or even sweep the floor in his aunt Ellen’s bar while watching Sam color at a back table out of the way. Sure he always worried about their dad, but Sam was his first priority. His dad was able to get disability and that helped some but it was never enough. If it weren’t for his aunt Ellen insisting on feeding them most nights he was sure he would have gone to bed hungry more often than he had. 

Everyone knew that their dad cared and loved them. It wasn’t his fault that a true mate bond broken by death could possibly kill him. For now though, his dad seemed more stable than he had in the past. Dean was thankful for that. Especially now. He was grateful his dad had the forethought to send Sam away for the weekend. He wouldn’t even begin to know what to tell his brother right now.

He hadn’t had much time to think on the feelings all his memories brought. The next few days, while mostly coherent, still managed to go by in a blur. He was still achy on Sunday when he sat down to talk to his brother about his presentation, and how he had planned to handle it, but the ache wasn’t a terrible one like it has been Friday morning. 

When he found himself sitting at the table with his brother and his father that evening still looking like he could use more sleep and smelling like he did, even after a shower, his brother just stared at him.   
“But why, Dean?” Sam had the most confused and sad puppy look on his face and it made Dean’s chest ache.   
“Sammy, you need to understand, even though you have been raised to respect and treat omegas as equals, the world hasn’t quite caught up with our own very liberal views on omega rights. It is best for everyone if I just keep this under wraps right now.” His voice was gentle. He knew his brother was going to be eleven soon and he was so far from unintelligent that he was surprised that he didn’t give him a look of anger for talking to him like he was five again.   
“It isn’t fair, though. Just because you’re an omega doesn’t change who you are, what you can do, or what you have done. You are so strong and capable I don’t see why being an omega should change anyone’s opinion or view of you.” Sam’s voice was quiet. That wasn’t what caught Dean’s heart though. Sammy’s words made his heart swell with pride. He was raised by his dad, even in the worst times, to believe all those things and more when it came to omegas. They were taught that if anything omegas were precious things that should be held in high regards but not so precious that they were saw as weak. Omegas were just as strong as alphas were in their home if not stronger.

He resisted the urge to wrap his brother up in a crushing bear hug. Before Dean could say anything though their father spoke up. “Sammy, we understand all that. We do. It is the way we believe. The world outside this door though, it isn’t as kind or as accepting to an omegas strengths and capabilities as we are. Omega rights movements have come a long way but they still have so much further to go. If it gets out that your brother is an omega he could be kicked off the baseball team-” Sam cut him off “WHAT? Why? Dean is one of their best players even though he is one of the newer ones.” Dean smiled and John chuckled. 

“Sam, it is still believed by many that an omega in an alpha dominated sport can be a distraction to other players. One that most people are not willing to take. It is only one of the things that would be affected. There would be certain things expected of him that, quite frankly given your brothers very independent and strong headed nature, would not go over well.” Sam looked at them confused. 

“Sammy, people would treat me like I’m weak, they would talk down to me, they would have a hard time respecting me the way they should. Not to mention the chances of some knot head doing something bad increase. Even with the new protections that are in place in most schools for omegas, usually when that happens...people look the other way, gloss over it, don’t even acknowledge it.” Dean tried to keep his voice calm for his brother but he knew that Sam had caught the increasing anger and frustration in his voice the longer he spoke. 

“So, you will just continue life pretending like you’re a beta? Using blockers and suppressants? For how long? Your whole life?” He still didn’t sound very accepting of this situation but Dean knew he was coming around. It was John that answered him though. “Sam, we hope that one day your brother will never have to hide his designation from the world. That day isn’t today. Even if we believe that all omegas deserve to be able to live life without feeling repressed by old world views, we have to be realistic about it and understand that today isn’t that time.” John put his hand on Sam’s shoulder and Sam looked up at him then over to Dean, his eyes were glossy with tears that Dean knew would fall soon. 

Sam’s voice was small, quiet, and timid when it came next, a complete contrast to the fierceness that he spoke with only moments before. “It’s not fair.” Dean didn’t hesitate this time. He reached and pulled his little brother into his arms wrapping him tightly against his still slightly warm body. Out of instinct he guided Sam’s nose to his neck, somehow knowing that the sweet soft scent of omega family would help. He felt the warm tears slide from Sam’s face onto his neck and rubbed his hand over Sam’s back calming him. 

“It’s okay, Sammy. I’ll be alright. It won’t be for forever, just for right now.” Sam clung to Dean tightly. That night Dean let Sam sleep in his bed and held him tight. It wasn’t unusual, they did this often enough when they were little, it was just that Sam stopped coming to him for the comfort when he got older. 

As they lay there in bed Dean was about to close his eyes, he thought his brother was sleeping, when Sam spoke. “Dean?” His voice was a whisper but still reached his ears. “Yeah?” He wondered what it was he had to say. His voice quivered when he spoke next. “It will be safer for you. I know that. My friend Ruby’s sister Lilith presented as an omega a few months ago. Ruby told me that a few weeks after she presented a couple alpha assholes cornered her on her way home from school one day. Dean, she told me the terrible things they did. Ruby said that Lilith hasn’t been the same since.” Dean could feel the tears soaking into his night shirt. “Dean I don’t want that to happen to you.” His voice broke and he sniffled as he held tighter to his brother. 

He rubbed his hands along his brother’s back and calmly shushed him. “It’s alright Sammy, that isn’t going to happen to me. I won’t let it. I promise.” As he held his brother eventually his sobbing stopped and his breathing evened out. He was finally out. It gave him time to think. He knew who Lilith was. He didn’t know her, but of her. There were all kinds of rumors that floated around about her sudden transfer from their school to another one. Some said she went to private school. Some said she got knocked up and shipped off to an exclusive over seas pregnancy school. Some said that she dropped out and ran away with her girlfriend. Now Dean understood. 

Because two knot head assholes took what they felt was their right to take from her, her life was most likely in shambles, her confidence shattered, and no sense of justice was served for the poor girl. He may not have known her, but he understood that she was kind. She was often seen promoting some charity or another around school, always trying to recruit people to help. He was asked by one of her friends one Christmas season to join them all to sing Carols at the local orphanage to cheer up the children there. She seemed like such a sweet girl. He wondered how she was now. Sam had said Ruby told him she had changed completely. He felt a pain for her. He knew it was no sense in getting so upset over something he couldn’t control, he just wished that one day omegas would be treated better. 

Especially if his brother presented as one. He tightened his arms around his brother at the thought of him presenting as an omega and ever being violated in that way. Sam made a small grunting noise that made Dean loosen his grip on him. He didn’t want to have any negative feelings about it but he recognized that a small part inside of him hoped that Sammy would present as an alpha or be a beta. He held his brother securely as he drifted off to sleep, comfortable in the knowledge that for the next few years at least he didn’t need to worry and could still protect his brother.

 

The next day on the way to school he caught Cas looking at him curiously as they walked. He went through his new morning routine in his head. He was positive that he had put on more blockers than he needed. He used the spray as well as the deodorant and was sure to bring both with him to school. He looked over to his best friend “What?” Cas opened his eyes in shock before answering him. “Are you sure you’re feeling alright? I was worried, Dean.” Dean knew he was. He could not only scent it, even more acutely now, but he knew his best friend well enough to know it just from his looks and body language. He gave him an easy grin that he really didn’t feel. “Yeah, Cas. I’m good. Still a little sore coming off the ass end of whatever illness that overtook me though.” 

He waited as Cas decided on if he was going to accept that answer or not. Eventually he must have decided that it was enough. He nodded and turned back to watch the path as the walked. “I was worried. It must have been bad. When you didn’t come to the window I got so worried I came around to the front the next morning and spoke with your father. He told me that you were ill. So badly that Sammy had to go stay with a friend.” Dean wasn’t sure if he was hearing suspicion in his friend's voice or if he was imagining it. “Yeah, I’m alright now I think. Still suppose to take it easy though.” Cas nodded again and they dropped the subject. 

That night when Cas came to his window and Dean turned him away under the pretense that he wasn’t sure if he was contagious still or not and didn’t want to risk getting him sick, Dean felt an emptiness inside him. A painful aching that was much worse than that he just felt over the weekend. He would never admit it to anyone, even under threat of death, that when he curled up in bed trying to hold himself together because he felt like his insides were trying to fall apart, he cried. He cried for lying to his best friend. He cried for the loss of his comforting arms around his body as they held one another and eventually slept. He realized as he wiped his tears on his already tear soaked pillow that he was mourning. Mourning the loss of what was. He wasn’t sure he would ever be able to have that with his friend again. The one thing that came just as easy to him as cuddling with Sammy was lost to him now. 

He didn’t want to think about how it would ruin everything if he let Cas over and his blockers wore off in the middle of the night and he smelled of omega in the morning. He fell into a fitful slumber where he had nightmares of his mother’s death and of Lilith being cornered in an abandoned park. Until it was no longer Lilith, it as him, then it was Sam. Then he woke up choking on the sobs that were being ripped from his chest. He held his hand to his mouth as he silently cried again. His other hand gripping his chest again. He wanted to hold himself together, but at the same time he wished he could let the pieces fly apart, fly away, maybe then he would feel better. Or not at all. He would rather be numb than feel like this. 

He couldn’t sleep anymore that night. The next day at school Cas didn’t bother him with questions when his worried glance fell to the shadows under his eyes and his concerned smell enveloped him. Dean just stayed quiet the whole day, assuming that his best friend would think it was still lingering illness. At least Dean took comfort in knowing that he was able to start his suppressants that night. At least he wouldn't have to go through heat again. Or at least for another year. 

That night when he went to bed he didn’t cry as much as he had before, but he felt that it was more painful. Cas hadn’t even bothered to come to his window. And when he woke up in the middle of the night with screams caught in his throat from his nightmares he stayed up for hours researching other possibilities for blockers. He had heard of pill form blockers that would work on a biological level and worked longer. Once he found the info he was determined to go to his Dad with it the next morning under the pretense of needing them for sports. Regular blockers wouldn’t do with all the sweating during sports. No one needed to know that Dean’s main reason was to have Cas back. He needed him. It was the first time he had ever really understood that. 

It took a few days, but finally Dean was holding a bottle in his hand. He opened it and held one of the small purple pills in his hand. He was worried that this small pill wouldn’t do what he needed it to. After taking it he still took precaution and used the other blockers as well. It wasn’t until they were walking home from school that he realized the medicine must work, he never reapplied the other blockers during the day. He grinned wide and turned to his best friend. “Hey, Cas, wanna come over tonight?” 

He knew that he was taking a risk inviting his best friend over after less than 24 hours of having the medicine in his system, he didn’t care though. He took another pill about an hour before he knew that Cas was going to end up coming to his window. He was told that they only last about 16 hours and he wasn’t going to risk it wearing off while his best friend was snuggled up to him. That night Dean didn’t have any nightmares. He didn’t cry himself to sleep holding the pieces of himself together. He didn’t wake up with silent screams on his lips. No, Cas held his pieces together and kept the screams at bay.

That night, Dean curled up into the arms of his best friend, his nose flush against his neck, breathing in his amazing scent. He had his best friend's arms wrapped around him, bringing him peace and comfort, when he woke up with his limbs tangled in his best friends and a nose pressed against the back of his ear he just snuggled in deeper and enjoyed the feeling. Then he looked at the clock and quickly did the math in his head, he had until 1pm to take another pill before the blockers would begin to wear off. He would set the alarm for noon. He still had two and a half hours to enjoy this. 

After carefully setting the alarm, just in case, he snuggled down closer to Cas and felt his arms tighten around him in his sleep while he rutted around with his nose against his neck. He froze for a moment until Cas settled with his nose buried deep into the curve of his neck. He wondered if it was possible that he was able to scent him. If the blockers weren’t working the way that they were suppose to. After a few minutes he decided that he was being paranoid and that Cas was just being Cas. He settled further into the comfort that Cas always brought him. 

Waking up while still curled into his best friend he smiled at the blue eyes that were watching him sleep. “Cas, you know it’s creepy when you do that.” He felt the rumble of his best friend’s chest as he chuckled at him. “Yes Dean, you have told me. However, I didn’t want to risk waking you by leaving the bed. I couldn’t sleep anymore, so what were my other options when you didn’t have any books by the bed?” He just rolled his eyes and reluctantly rolled away to let his friend get up. He hadn’t realized how much he enjoyed this, and how much he missed his best friend, until the last few days. He hoped that it could always be this way. Maybe even one day, without his deception.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have to give a huge thank you to [Mayalaen](http://mayalaen.tumblr.com/) for taking her time and beta'ing this chapter for me. I really appreciate it. You my dear are wonderful. So much love for her. Go check out her stories [ here](http://archiveofourown.org/users/Mayalaen/pseuds/Mayalaen) you won't be disappointed. 
> 
> Also this chapter if a Cas POV chapter and I am pretty sure that the next one will be too.

When they arrived at the diner, Dean was out of the Impala quickly and was halfway across the parking lot before Cas could even think to wonder what happened. Was it something that he had done? Was it something that he had said? Dean was out of the car before he had a chance to try to scent what Dean was feeling. It was very unnerving to him. It came as such a shock when he walked through the halls scenting the most delicious omega he had ever smelled. It came as a much bigger shock to find that omega outside and that he was in fact his best friend whom he believed for years to have been a beta. So to say that the situation was a bit dizzying was an understatement.

Dean was waiting for him when he walked in. The cute beta female with a nice smile greeted them. “Evening. Is a booth all right?”

Dean opened his mouth to answer but Cas made sure to beat him to it. “Yes, a booth would be lovely, thank you.”

He watched Dean as he closed his mouth and smiled. There was a lot to discuss. He wasn’t sure how much of it Dean was going to want to talk about here at the diner, but he wanted to make sure that he was afforded every opportunity to privacy as was possible. If he was able to scent Dean a little better in the semi-enclosed space as opposed to an open table, well that wouldn’t hurt either.

As soon as they were settled and their drinks ordered he watched Dean over his menu while Dean tried his hardest to avoid his gaze by looking at the menu. Dean ordered the same thing at every diner that he went to. Unless his taste buds had changed drastically over the last ten years, he knew that Dean was putting this off. Which was fine. He was a patient man. He could wait. He had waited this long to tell Dean everything that he needed to tell him. What was another hour or so?

While he watched Dean’s green eyes flick nervously over the menu, he carefully, and hopefully unnoticably, took a slow deep breath in through his nose. He quickly thought back to all the times that they had curled up in bed with one another. How when Dean was almost 15 he smelt different. Then it was a subtle smell. Like an undercurrent. Betas usually didn’t have a strong smell. Some were known to have a scent, though, even if it was very faint. Cas had always written off the way Dean smelt to him as a side affect of their friendship. He figured he was just hyper aware of it since they spent so much time so close to one another. Now he recognized it. It was subtle then, now it was like a hurricane that was hitting him all at once. Stronger and more pronounced. More amazing than he thought Dean smelled back then.

He wondered why he didn’t notice the signs then. More importantly, he was curious to find out why Dean had felt the desire to hide this from him. Was he worried that Cas wouldn’t be able to control his alpha instincts around him? Surely Dean must have known that Cas would never have done anything untoward. He never would have touched him without his consent. He most definitely wouldn’t have harmed Dean in anyway. He wondered if he was the reason Dean had hid it. Maybe he felt he had to? Their friendship had not been a conventional one by far. He never had a friend as close as Dean. He most certainly never felt comfortable enough to curl up with another person the way he did Dean. Even those he would take to bed for sexual gratification.

No, Dean was unique in a way that he couldn’t express. He never felt more comfortable with anyone else. He wasn’t sure why he felt that way. He never even felt so relaxed and comfortable surrounded by the scents of his family. So why didn’t Dean trust him with the fact that he presented as omega?

Cas noticed that his fingers were twitching with the desire to touch Dean. He wanted to take his wrist in his hand and feel his pulse beat against his fingers.

_ Oh shit. _

He wanted to scent mark Dean. Just the way they used to. He always smiled at the way Dean would scent mark him when they cuddled together. He would occasionally find himself doing the same to his best friend. He would softly stroke his pulse points or nuzzle his lips and nose into the sensitive spot behind Dean’s ear and in the juncture of his neck when they slept.

It was then that it hit him: even if he didn’t know Dean was an omega back then, some part of his alpha instincts just  _ knew  _ and so he was subconsciously laying his claim on his best friend. He wondered if Dean had scent marked him knowingly or if it was just instinct for him to do the same.

Dean finally looked up with a quizzical expression. He must have been able to scent the change of his emotions. It didn’t help any that the smell of Dean was overloading his senses so fully. He was beginning to think that a booth was a terrible idea.

He was relieved when the server finally made his way over to the two of them to take their order. He was sure that the silence between the them was awkward or uncomfortable for some reason. He hadn’t really noticed. Dean’s scent had seemed to level out for now. He had so many questions, though. He wasn’t even sure where to start or if Dean even wanted to answer them. He wasn’t sure if this was going to be one of those things that Dean tried to gloss over and ignore while they just went on with their lives, ignoring it like it never happened. Or if he understood that it was a big deal and actually talked about it.

But Cas wasn’t going to be able to gloss over it. Not this time anyway. Dean smelled too good to him. Dean smelled like  _ home  _ to him. He always had, but now it just intensified. All the things that he was feeling for his best friend before when he thought he was a beta were now hitting him stronger and with more ferocity than ever. Somewhere in the back of his mind his alpha reminded him that the biological family he was ready to give up to be with a beta male was suddenly an option for them.

He gently reminded his inner alpha that it was only an option if Dean actually wanted him, and if he did he would have to want a family, if memory were to serve him correctly, though he was sure that Dean wanted a family.

_ They had brought Sam to meet a “friend” at the park down the road. While Sam went off somewhere with the friend of his they sat on the bench talking about nothing in particular. It wasn’t until a little boy about the age of three was running past them in a game of tag and he fell that they actually paid much attention to the kids around them. _

_ Dean, without missing a beat or much thought to it at all, reached down and scooped the child up into his lap. _

_ “Hey little buddy. You alright?” His eyes shone with sympathy. It made Cas smile fondly at his best friend as he watched it play out. _

_ “Y-y-yeah.” The little boy sniffled as tears ran silently down his face. Dean just smiled at the boy. _

_ “How are your knees looking?” He pointed down to the exposed knees peeking out from below the boy’s shorts. _

_ The little boy looked down and saw a little scrape and his brown eyes filled with more unshed tears. _

_ “You know what? I don’t think that is that bad.” He sat the boy down on the bench next to him and pulled his pant leg up, showing the little boy a scar. Cas knew it was from riding bikes with Sam and had been bad enough that it took several weeks to heal completely, but still left a wicked scar. _

_ The little boy’s eyes grew big when he saw the scar. “Wow.” _

_ Dean’s smile somehow got even bigger, “Yeah, that was from this time I fell down when riding bikes down a rocky hill with my little brother. It hurt. Bad. Do you know how to ride a bike yet?” _

_ The little boy shook his head in the negative. His tears had dried up and the sobbing stopped. _

_ “Maybe one day you will. Just remember to be careful. Or you will end up with a scar like mine.” _

_ The boy nodded and slipped off the bench running towards his friends again. Cas watched as Dean smiled after him. _

_ “Dean?” He looked over at Cas then. _

_ “Hmm?” _

_ “Do you think you will ever want kids?” It was a genuine question. _

_ Even though his best friend was a beta, it didn’t mean he couldn’t have kids with another beta. Or adopt if he ended up with an Alpha. Or even produce his own offspring with an omega. Not that he would be so inclined to mention how he would love to entertain the idea of adopting pups and raising a family with his best friend. That would be too much for Dean, who had never shown an interest in him that way. _

_ Dean’s expression softened even more and there was something in his eyes that passed quickly as he laughed. “Cas, I’m only 17. I’m not sure if that is even something to consider right now.” _

_ “I was just curious, Dean. You are exceptional with little ones. I imagine you would be an amazing dad.” He saw Dean turn away from him in that way where he knew he didn’t want Cas to see his reaction. Yeah, he was almost sure that one day Dean would want pups of his own. _

“So, Cas. It is wonderful to see you.” Dean smiled at him.

It was a small smile to go with the cautious look that he was giving him. Maybe Dean expected Cas to be angry? Maybe he was angry. He was hurt, his alpha was thrilled, he was trying desperately to hide his arousal at Dean’s scent, but more than anything he was confused.

“Likewise, Dean. It has been far too long. E-mail, text, and Skype just don’t compare to the real thing.” He gave his best friend one of the most genuine smiles that he could. He was rewarded when Dean gave him a wide smile of his own. One that was natural and not guarded.

“Yeah, Cas. I agree. It has been way too long.” Dean sipped at his water the server must have brought over when he wasn’t paying attention.

“How is the family, Dean? Sam? John?” He was honestly curious. He had loved Sam like the little brother he never had. It was difficult to move away for college when he was leaving his best friend and Sam.

Dean lit up at the question. He always did when he was talking about his ‘smarty pants’ brother of his. He was always so proud of his brother, and one of Sam’s biggest accomplishments that Dean would always boast about when they contacted one another over the years was his brother’s full ride to Stanford, then later opening his own firm and advocating for omega rights. Dean’s enthusiasm for Sam’s work made so much more sense now. Of course he would be proud of his alpha brother being one of the top contenders in the US for omega rights.

“So, did I tell you how he met Eileen? The deaf girl that he met when he went to D.C. to push for the omega health rights bill that was up to be passed a year ago?” His smile was so big.

“I believe so, yes. That was the one that was skeptical of him and his motives, correct?” He wanted to be sure that was the right girl. He knew that Sam had dated a nice beta at Stanford but if he remembered correctly her name was Jessica or something like that.

“Yeah, he managed to gently woo her over to his way of thinking, that not all alphas are against omega rights, not all of them are big knot heads, all that. Took him a little while, but it’s Sammy. She eventually cracked. They all do. I am surprised it took her so long since one look at his puppy eyes and most people are goners.”

He gave another grin and Cas knew exactly what he was talking about. It was a look that had been directed at him on more than one occasion and he was always completely unable to deny Sam whatever it was that he was requesting.

“I also think the fact that he had taken an ASL class at Stanford helped him. He wasn’t fluent when they met, but she was happy to teach him since he was so willing to learn. She still tries to teach me but I just don’t... I don’t know. I’d like to learn but it doesn’t seem like it is something that easy for me to pick up.I mean sure I’ve picked up a few things here and there being around them some, but nothing like I  _ could  _ , ya know? It is hard when they travel so much, especially since they have combined their superpower forces for the better of omegas everywhere, and I travel around too-”

“Dean.” He needed to stop him.

“Yeah?” He looked up from the napkin that he had been folding.

“You’re rambling.” He gave him a gentle smile.

“Oh yeah. The point I was trying to make here is that they are going to be getting married. They haven’t set a date yet, but they were talking about next year around this time. Possibly a destination wedding. Some place like Fiji or something. Her folks are some rich retired couple. Did I tell you that she was adopted? Just don’t mention that to her. She said family don’t end in blood, so we never bring it up. I have to make sure that I have the time off. They are going to pay for Dad to fly out there and maybe even stay a few days.”  He smiled, which made Cas’ chest ache in a good way. He had missed that smile. Seeing it over Skype wasn’t enough.

“That is fantastic. Please send my congratulations to Sam.”

“I will do. I’m surprised he didn’t tell you himself. Thought you two talked.”

“We do, just not as frequently as we should. My lack of communication is a terrible habit I am going to try to break.”

He raised an eyebrow in Dean’s direction when he put emphasis on  _ lack of communication  _ and hoped that Dean would catch it and use it to begin talking about other things that he really wanted to talk about. Not that he wasn’t honestly interested in his family. He just really wanted to know the answer to the question burning him up.

Dean did not take that chance. He somehow knew that he wouldn’t, but he allowed himself to hope he would. It was at that moment that the server came back and set their food down in front of them.

“You know, you and Sammy both. With the the rabbit food.” His voice teased, but Cas could sense the tense undertones, even if Dean was doing a good job keeping his scent level.

“Dean, a side salad with my bacon cheeseburger hardly consists of Sam style ‘rabbit food’ eating.” They both laughed at that.

“Yeah, I guess you’re right. Remember that time he got so mad that I wouldn’t eat vegan for his birthday?”

He did remember. It was only a few months before they were set to graduate.

_ He sat back in the chair next to John as they both watched in amusement as the argument unfolded before them. _

_ “No, Sammy. I will not. I  _ refuse  _ to eat nothing but rabbit food! It’s bad enough you want me to have some fancy kind of salad, but you also want to take away the cheese and ranch too?” Dean voice was incredulous _

_ “Yes, Dean. That is part of a  _ vegan  _ meal. No animal products.” Sam rolled his eyes. _

_ “That may be all fine and good for you Sammy, but those are the only things, other than maybe some, you know,  _ meat  _ that make a salad anywhere close to being edible. No. Not gonna happen.” _

_ “Dean, stop calling me Sammy, I’m not a kid anymore-” _

_ “Yes you are.” Both Dean and John chimed in on that and both received a glorious bitch face for it accompanied with a sigh. _

_ “Whatever. My point is, I want to invite my friends and have a vegan dinner. Which reminds me, if you are still going to make my cake I found a vegan cake recipe.” _

_ Dean just looked at his brother like he had grown two more heads and told him that he was from another planet. His mouth open and eyes drawn together in frustrated confusion. _

_ “Dean?” _

_ He blinked at Sam and Cas had to stifle a snicker. _

_ “Dean!” _

_ “Sam. I will make myself a burger. Maybe even Cas if he wants one. You can have your vegan dinner. Hell, I will even make it for you. The cake? I draw the line at pastries. Cakes, cookies, and especially pies are all meant to be made with butter. REAL butter, Sammy.  Eggs, flour, milk, all those delicious things that  _ make them  _ what they are. I will not do it.” _

_ Dean turned and Cas caught the look of ‘Do you believe this kid?’ and just shrugged at him, giving him a look that he knew Dean understood as ‘What are you gonna do.’ _

_ Dean looked over to John. _

_ “Oh no. Do not bring me into this. I will buy what needs to be bought, I will even help in every way you need me to, but do not even think for one second I am crazy enough to allow one of you two boys to drag me into the middle of one of your arguments.” _

_ Cas was unable to hold back his laughter at that. All that did was get twin bitch faces from the brothers along with a glare from Dean. _

_ “What? Your dad is right. I think by now anyone that knows you two knows better than to get between whatever you argue about.” _

_ Dean gave him a look that only meant he was going to be hearing about it later. It was a familiar conversation. Dean always got upset if Cas didn’t take his side, Cas had to point out that he didn’t take Sam’s side either. Then Dean tried to point out that Cas was supposed to be the deciding factor. That was when Cas would just smile and apologize. He would never go as far as pointing out that most of the time Sam was right and had facts to back it up. That would be a whole different argument he wasn’t willing to have. _

_ Eventually John paid for a vegan cake at a local bakery for Sam and his friends. Dean picked it up but made it a point to make two dozen mini pies also. When one of Sam’s friends asked why he made pies and not cupcakes, Cas just smiled as Dean answered. _

_ “Dude, if my brother is going to eat fake food,” Cas made a mental note to remind Dean just because it wasn’t food he liked, it didn’t make it fake. _

_ “I’m not going to make real cupcakes, I’m going to make pie. Pie is so much better. You should try one. They are delicious.” _

_ Sam didn’t bother getting upset that most of his friends ended up eating Dean’s mini pies. Cas didn’t have to make his point about fake food either because Sam did it for him. It was a good birthday for Sam. _

“How could I ever forget, Dean? The look on your face alone when Sam told you was priceless. I wish we would have been able to take a picture of it.”

Dean glared at him. “It wasn’t  _ that  _ funny.”

“Dean, you looked at your brother like he had just told you he was about to sprout wings and fly.”

“Well, it’s not natural Cas. You know that.” He gestured with his own burger to the burger currently making it’s way to Cas’ mouth.

He smiled behind his food. “Yeah. I know. How is your dad?”

After taking a big bite of his burger, he chewed and swallowed  _ most  _ of it before answering.

“He is doing all right. He likes California. He has been on a few dates but never allows it to get passed the third date. Between you and me, I think he prefers those dating websites where most of the women are just looking for hook-ups. I mean, the man has his needs but he will never be in another relationship. Ya know? It just makes me worry. He isn’t as young as he used to be. I know he has to get lonely, especially with Sam always working or traveling for work, and I’m gone most of the time.”

He just shrugged at that and didn’t say more on the subject.

“How about your family?”

Cas allowed himself some time to finish the bite he had in his mouth while thinking.

“Well, my parents have retired. They did the cliche thing and moved to Florida. I have seen them a few times. They seem happy there.”

“What about Hannah?” Dean spoke around a mouthful of food that had Cas smiling because the man was grown and still did that. It was endearing to him, at least.

“Her and her husband are off saving the world or something. Which you know my parents do not exactly approve of. Not the saving the world part, but the manner in which she has chosen to do it.”

Dean laughed. “Where is she this time?”

He had to think about it for a moment. “I believe somewhere in South Africa. I can’t be certain, though. She is still with the Doctors Without Borders organization along with her husband, but I haven’t heard from her in a couple months, which isn’t unusual. So she could be anywhere in the world at the moment, honestly.”

“Saving the world one patient at a time then.”

“Yes, that is Hannah.”

“You too. Don’t think just because you don’t do the Doctors Without Borders thing that you aren’t saving people.” His smile was a proud one.

“Dean, I hardly consider my profession as one of saving people.”

“Don’t be ridiculous, Cas. You’re an orthopedic surgeon for  _ kids.  _ Believe me, for some of those kids you are a hero who has saved their lives. I mean it.”

“Well thank you for your vote of confidence, Dean. Besides, I have to make sure those kids are well enough to ride your roller coasters.” He grinned at Dean and got a huge smile in return.

“We make a good team. You be the hero that heals them up good and proper-”

“And you are the hero that makes their lives fun with the excitement of an amusement park.”

“I’m no hero for that, Cas.” He looked down and swirled the last fry in ketchup. Cas was able to smell his embarrassment.

Even after all these years Dean was still unable to see how amazing he really was and accept a compliment that would suggest such.

“I believe that there are children who disagree with you. I have it on good authority, from several of my patients, that one of their big dreams is to be able to go to Disneyland or Disneyworld. I also know for a fact that you have designed rides for both places.”

Dean let his amusement show. “Cas, every kid wants to go to Disneyland or World. I don’t think you have a very big pool of candidates in which to poll to get a very accurate representation.”

“Dean…,” Cas just shook his head and smiled. Dean was always one to play down his intelligence and worth. Cas just wanted one day to be allowed to try to show him how incredible he really was.

“Cas.” Dean raised his eyebrow. The server came back.

“Can I get ya’ll anything else or would you like the check?”

“Pie?” He knew Dean would never pass up pie.

“You know it, buddy.” He turned to the server. “You got apple pie?”

She smiled warmly “Of course. Two slices?”

“Oh yeah, big ones.” He winked. “Can you add some vanilla ice cream on top too? Thanks.”

The server walked away with that sweetly dazed smile on her face that Cas had seen on many faces in the past. Dean knew how to charm people, and it seemed that specific talent only got stronger as he aged. It was an amazing thing to watch. Cas has always wanted to study it. Like a science project or something.

They sat in comfortable silence until their pie was delivered and the server left the check as well, making sure to let Dean know that if there was anything else that she could get them just to let her know. Cas watched her walk away and wondered if Dean had a type. He didn’t really date in high school. He spent most of his time working, studying, taking care of his brother and somehow spending time with him. That last part warmed him.

He didn’t know what Dean did in college, or after for that matter, because it was never a topic either of them broached. For Cas it simply was because of his feelings for Dean. Sure, he himself had dated occasionally, but it was never anything serious, He ended up simply married to his work. For Dean, he just never seemed to bring it up. Not that Cas wasn’t grateful for that. He wasn’t sure he really wanted to hear about Dean with other people.

About halfway through their pie, Cas decided that he was going to brave the topic that Dean was avoiding.

“Dean.” His tone must have given him away.

“Cas. Seriously. Maybe we could wait? Go to that hotel bar of yours or even mine and have ourselves a drink first. I just think that I just need that. Okay?” He didn’t look up from his pie until he was done talking.

“Of course, Dean. Whatever you need.” He gave him a small smile and took a bite of the pie.

“You know, Dean. This is not nearly as good as your pie.” He grinned and Dean grinned right back.

“Yeah, I know. But what ya gonna do?”

It wasn’t until they were walking towards the Impala that Dean spoke up.

“Your hotel is right there. We could walk. It is a nice night.” Cas was almost relieved.

As much as he wanted to be in the car surrounded by the smell of Dean, he was also happy that he had the option for a bit of fresh air. Sitting in the car and then the booth with Dean’s smell permeating the area and invading his senses was driving him crazy. He was embarrassed at the fact that Dean’s smell alone had him half hard the entire time.

Not that the thought of Dean hadn’t been able to do that for years now, it was just so much worse now, it seemed. With the wonders of technology, he had watched Dean grow from the young 18, almost 19-year-old that left for college 10 years ago to the man with the looks of a model before him today. Not that Dean wasn’t always incredibly handsome. He just seemed to be more so, in every way apparently, as he got older. Like a fine wine.

And Cas wanted to be there to experience everything as he aged and only got better with time. It made him shiver despite the warm air surrounding them. Dean looked over when he did.

“You cold?”

“No. Just, got the chills for a moment.”

“One of my friends from college, Alfie, used to say that when you got the chills it was someone walking over your grave.”

“That...is an interesting thing to think.”

Dean laughed. “Old wives’ tale, man. His mother and grandmother used to tell him that.”

They made it to the hotel in silence and walked through the lobby. Cas smiled and nodded to the clerk at the check-in desk and led the way to the bar.

They decided on sitting at the bar this time. Cas was not sure if he was relieved again or disappointed. If they sat at one of the booths, it would provide Dean a semblance of privacy again but would suffuse him in Dean’s smell.

At the bar, although there was a limited amount of privacy, they wouldn’t be so tangled in one another's scents.

They found stools at the far side, furthest away from everyone else and ordered their drinks. Cas paid for the drinks and waited for the young man to go tend to others before turning to Dean. He raised his glass and they clinked them together.

When Dean didn’t begin speaking, Cas decided to start with something that Dean could relax with.

“Do you know that the only reason people clink their glasses together in a toast is because it was common for one to poison their enemies with a liquid in the drinks. So when they would clink,” he gently clinked his glass to Dean’s, “the liquids would spill over into the other's glass effectively poisoning anyone else, hopefully the poisoner, and requiring that everyone die or no one die.”

Dean laughed. “Is that a fact?”

“Well, it is not irrefutable. But yes, let’s say it is.” He smiled as Dean visibly eased.

They sat drinking in silence and allowing the barkeep to fill their glasses once more before Dean actually spoke.

“Cas. I’m sorry I never told you.”

He waited. He knew Dean wasn’t done.

“I was going to tell you. I was. Graduation night. You just seemed so excited about leaving. Going off to your fancy school and getting out of here. I took that scholarship in Washington. I just...it didn’t seem like the right time.”

He bit his lip and finally looked at Dean. He could tell he was nervous. He could  _ smell  _ that he was nervous, sure, but that was something new. He  _ knew  _ Dean. He knew when he was nervous without the benefit of scenting him.

“Dean-”

“I know I could have told you numerous times since then. I do. Every time I was determined to tell you I just found some other reason not to. Something else came up. So it never came out.”

“Despite the numerous occasions on which you had to tell me since we graduated, my question is, why did you keep it from me to begin with? Did you not trust me? We you so worried about my being an alpha that you thought it best to hide your distinction from me? Because surely, Dean, you must have known I would never have done anything to harm you in any manner.”

Dean looked almost pained. His voice was quieter when he spoke again.

“Yeah, Cas. I know. It wasn’t that I didn’t trust you. I did. Still do, in fact. I was never once worried about your alpha distinction, trust me. I never thought that you would hurt me. I kept it from you not because of judgement or fear of what you might do but because of how you would try to protect me from others. I didn’t want the way we were to change.”

“Dean, that would have been me judging you. You imply that I would have assumed just because you presented omega that I would automatically consider you weak and feel the need to protect you.”

He shrugged.

“I, of everyone in your life then, knew how well you could take care of yourself. There was never any doubt of that for me. Nothing would have had to change.”

“Cas. You don’t think that instinctually you wouldn’t have tried to protect me?”

He gave him a baffled look.

“Cas, whether we knew it at the time or not, we would,” Dean took a deep breath and looked around the bar and finished his drink. So Cas took the time to do the same.

It wasn’t until they had their drinks filled once more and were left to their conversation that Dean continued.

“We would scent mark each other.” His voice was quiet. If Cas hadn’t been listening intently and holding onto his every word.

He smiled at that. “I didn’t realize that fully until tonight.”

Dean looked up at him in honest confusion. “Really?”

He chuckled. “I knew that you did it. I didn’t really pay much attention to the fact that I did it, though, strangely enough. Not until I...not until tonight.”

Dean grinned mischievously, “What about tonight made you realize it.”

He hoped that he didn’t turn pink, or at least would be able to blame the alcohol.

“I. When we were at the diner I realized it. I had the urge to take your wrist in hand and mark your pulse point.” He looked down and then quickly back up and took a long pull of his drink, allowing the cool liquid to warm his insides as it flowed down to his stomach.

Out of the corner of his eye he saw Dean bite his lower lip and try to hide a smile. Suddenly he was hit hard with the scent of happy omega. No happy  _ Dean  _ . It was overwhelming and made him dizzy. He set his now empty glass down and leaned his elbows on the bar, leaning forward a little, trying to get his head to relate to his body that it needed to calm down. He knew he must be exuding excited alpha scent. Maybe even aroused. He didn’t want to scare Dean, though.

“I umm...that is interesting that you should say that, Cas.”

He couldn't help but look over to the man he had wanted for so long, even as a beta. “What? Why?”

He ducked his head down and licked his lips before lifting it again and finishing his drink.

“I have had the urge to do the same. Well,” he looked away almost embarrassed, “not your wrist.”

He smiled. “Oh? Where were you wanting to then, Dean?” He knew he was pushing but the alcohol was warming him and allowing him to be more bold.

“Same place I always did, Cas.” Dean must have been feeling it too. He held his stare. Green eyes sparkling with their own questions. There was a vulnerability that he was no longer trying to hide.

“You mean, when we would sleep in your bed? Curled up with one another?”

Dean nodded.

“So, right-” he reached out and gently caressed the juncture of Dean’s neck where his neck and shoulder met, “here?”

Dean swallowed hard and Cas watched his throat as it moved. He slid his finger slowly up the side of his neck “Or right here?”

He stopped his finger right behind Dean’s ear. Pausing for a moment as he watched Dean’s pupils grow wider, and as he scented Dean’s own arousal let his finger slide slowly back down before removing it. He knew that there was no hiding his own body’s reaction. Dean had to scent his own arousal by now.

As badly as he wanted to finish this talk, to understand everything, to get to the bottom of things, He wanted,  _ needed  _ , to pull his omega up to the room and show him how much he wanted him.

_ Not your omega  _ . He reminded himself. But more importantly he needed to make it clear to Dean that he didn’t desire him simply because he found out that he was an omega. He needed Dean to understand that he had desired him for so much longer than he cared to admit. He needed Dean to know he was wanted, desired, and loved even when Cas thought him to be a beta.

Now if Dean would just stop smelling so damn good. He wasn’t sure he could think straight if he continued to put off such an aroused scent. There were things that he needed to say. With every moment passing, though, his alpha was begging to be released to take its omega. To take Dean. The one he has wanted for at least 15 years, if not longer.

He attempted to take a deep breath in through his mouth. “Dean.” His voice was much lower than normal and he knew he sounded as aroused as he felt.

“Cas.” Dean leaned a little more towards him and he had to fight the urge to move forward towards him.

“Although I would love to continue asking some questions-”

“Those can wait, Cas. I can still answer them later.” His tone,  _ his scent  _ , was implying things that made Cas’ body scream to give in. His voice was low and enticing.

“Yes, but I actually had my own reasons for coming tonight. I needed to see you.”

This caught Dean’s attention. He was curious now. “Why?”

The barkeep was back. Cas gestured to refill both glasses and left the man a generous tip, hoping that he would continue to give them the privacy he had been previously. He lifted his glass and let his nose be cleared by the biting deep spice smell. He took a breath and let his scent level back out. Hoping that his body would also understand that right now it needed to not be so excited.

After he and Dean both drank a little more he finally turned to him. “You weren’t the only one who had something to say on graduation night that never said it.”

Dean looked taken aback. “Go on.”

He took another drink and steeled his nerves. “Dean, I came here tonight with the express intention of telling you everything that I wanted to say that night. Everything I never did because I was worried about your future.”

“Yeah, you had things to say. So say them.”

He took one more deep breath and looked to his best friend.

“Dean. I’m in love with you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I did the formatting differently in this chapter so that the dialogue isn't all jumbled up in the blocks of paragraphs. I will be taking time some time (not sure _when_ though) to go back over the other two chapters and fix those too.  
>  Hope that you enjoyed this chapter!
> 
> 4.21.16 A/N: Chapter 4 is suppose to be up today but due to my personal life it is not ready to be posted. I am hoping that it will be ready to post some time before Monday 4.25.16. Sorry and thank you for understanding.
> 
> 9.24.17 A/N: *dies of embarrassed laughter* So, it's been almost a year and a half. I'm happy to say that (along with the reformatting of this chapter) I am working on the next one. It is half written. I got so involved in school that I just didn't have time. I am not sure _when_ it will be posted but I am shooting for the end of this month before I have to take my midterms.   
>  If you see this note, I hope it makes you hate me a little less for this fic.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We get a glimpse into Cas' past and what is going through his head.  
> Cas' POV.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter (and the next) owe so much to [TreeFrogie](http://archiveofourown.org/users/TreeFrogie84)  
> Go give her some love. Thank you so much for the beta.

18 years ago

He sat on the edge of her bed while she finished packing up the last of her things. It seemed like she was bringing everything with her to college.

“Are you going to be able to fit everything in your room?” He looked over to her sister, tearing his focus away from the stuffed animal he held in his hands.

She smiled softly at him. “Yeah, I will. It's a pretty big place.”

He nodded like he understood. “So, does that mean you won't be back? Are you going to be living there forever now?” The thought of his sister never being home again worried him.

Who would he talk to when Dean wasn't around? She has always been there for him in ways that their parents never were. He was going to miss her. She sat down next to him on the bed and took the stuffed bee from him and turned it over in her hands.

“I have had this thing since I was itty bitty. Our cousin Gabe gave it to me one year for my birthday after he visited and saw me in a yellow and black striped shirt. Called me Bumble Bee since that day.” She smiled fondly at the memory. It was something that he already knew but wasn't going to tell her that.

“I hated that he called me that, well, _still_ calls me that. This bee though? Too cute not to love.” She played with the wing where the tiny thing was starting to tear a little where it was attached to the fat body.

“You know, Dean can sew, if you want I can have him fix that before you leave. He is really good at doing things fast because Sam can be really impatient.” Castiel carefully explained.

“That would be really nice, Castiel. Thank you.” She handed him the bee. He looked up to her expectantly waiting for her to actually answer his question. She looked back down at him holding his gaze.

“You don't give up. Never have.” She sighed.

“Cas, I'm not going to stay there forever. College doesn't go on forever.” He waited.

He knew that she didn't want to answer his other question. It was something that was a sore subject for her. She loved their parents but didn't feel like she was able to be herself with them. She frequently talked about moving out and never coming home. It scared him when she talked like that. He didn't want to never see his sister again. She sighed deeper this time and looked back down to the bee in his hands.

“I won't be coming back here to live, Cas.” She said it quietly. He didn't know words spoken so softly could hurt his heart like they were hard steel right through his heart.

“But what about me?” He tried to hide the waver in his voice but he wasn't sure if he succeeded. The look on her face told him he had failed.

“Cas, I love you, little buddy. You know I do. I’ll come visit. We can also talk on the phone. I will be sure to set aside time at least once a week to talk to you.” She gave him a side hug that didn't go very far to make him feel much better.

“Promise?” his voice cracked a little on that one word and he fought back his tears.

“I promise. You never know, maybe you can come with Mom and Dad on parents weekend to see me.” She kissed the top of his head and he nodded, not fully trusting that he wouldn't cry if he spoke.

She got up from the bed and went back to her task of packing up. She was going to be leaving that afternoon and still had a lot to do. He stood up and cleared his throat.

“I am going to go see if Dean will fix the wing.” He didn't look up at his sister to see that she was smiling sadly at him. He just turned and walked from the room.

He ran all the way down the stairs and out the door. He didn't bother telling his mom where he was going, it was summer and he was allowed to go outdoors without permission as long as he was back after the street lights turned on and he told them if he was going anywhere other than Deans.

He ran all the way to Dean's without stopping, fighting tears the whole time. He knocked and waited, head down.

Sam was the one who opened the door. “Hey, Cas!”

“Sam. Where’s Dean?” He glanced down into the youngster's face briefly and stepped into the house when he moved to let him in.

“He's in the kitchen making my lunch.”

 

Cas nodded and headed that way. When he stepped into the kitchen Dean looked up at him with a smile. As soon as he saw his face the smile faded.

“Cas, what's wrong?” He hated the concern he heard there. He knew that he would tell Dean why he was upset. He just didn't have the time at the moment.

He thrust the bee in the direction of his best friend and waited. Dean finally took the few steps over to him and took the stuffed toy.

“What's this?” He asked curiously.

“It is my sister's and the wing needs to be repaired. Can you do it?”

“Of course I can.” He thumbed at the spot that was coming loose.

“Can you do it quickly? She will be leaving soon.”

Dean nodded at him, knowing not to ask questions. “Just let me finish packing up Sammy's lunch. One of his friends' mom is coming to pick him up to go to the park soon.”

Cas just sat down at the table and waited. He didn't want to talk at the moment. He knew that Dean understood. It was one of the reasons that he and Dean always got on so well. They always understood when they needed their time.

Even if it was right next to the other they gave one another space and didn't bring things up until they were ready. This he wasn't ready to discuss. It was something that Dean knew was happening today and they rarely talked about it. Even if his best friend did know how he felt about his sister leaving him.

He just didn't understand why his sister wasn't coming back home. Why she had to leave him. He wanted to go with her. He wouldn't have anyone but Dean once Hannah left.

Dean walked Sam to the front door and heard him telling him to behave for Ms. Tran. He was back before he really registered it. Dean quietly went about gathering his needle and thread and Cas watched his fingers move quickly as they repaired the wing.

Dean tapped Cas on the shoulder and realized that Dean must have been calling his name a few times before he had to touch him.

“Hey, it’s done.” Dean was holding the bee out to Cas with a concerned look on his face. Cas sniffed and took the bee.

“Thank you, Dean. I’ll be back after Hannah leaves.” Cas promised and offered Dean a small smile.

“Of course. Ask your folks if you can spend the weekend?” Dean asked with a hopeful smile. Cas could only nod as he walked towards the front door.

Cas can see Hannah and their parents loading up the car before he even reaches their house. He starts to run as they close up the trunk. Hannah smiles as he walks up the driveway with the stuffed bee in his hand.

“You’re not leaving yet, are you?” His voice is sad.

“No. I’m gonna have lunch with you first, alright?” Cas smiles at her words and takes her hand and drags her back to the house for lunch.

Once lunch is finished, Hannah asks him to come up and help her grab her bag from her room. He follows her, the bee dangling from his hand as he walks slowly up the stairs behind her. Once in the room Cas’ eyes go wide. He didn’t think that he was gone that long but Hannah’s room looks empty.

He bites his trembling bottom lip to keep the tears from falling. His eyes follow Hannah as she grabs the backpack off her bed. It also looks empty and bare without her pillows and comforter on it. She turns to him and he watches as she takes a deep breath.

“Listen,” Hannah opens her arms to him and he happily goes to her embrace, “I’m gonna keep in touch. I’ll bug you so much you will get sick of me. It will be like I didn’t even leave, okay?”

Cas doesn’t trust his voice so he nods against her chest and sniffs.

“Also, thank you for having Dean fix the bee. Can you do me another favor though?” Cas nods again.

“Can you keep him? My gift to you. To be sure that you don’t forget me while I’m gone, okay?” He could hear her voice crack and knew that she was going to cry.

He stepped back and nodded, as he wiped his tears he spoke, “I’ll take good care of him. Promise.”

She smiled happily down at him. “I’ve got to go if I’m going to make decent time. I love you, Castiel. Don’t ever forget that. I’ll call as soon as I get there okay?”

Cas nodded once more and followed his sister back down the stairs. He stood apart from his parents as he watched Hannah give them both a hug and promise to drive safe and call as soon as she arrived.

He stood in the driveway watching until he couldn’t see her car anymore. He turned to his parents, “Can I stay over at Deans for the weekend? Please?”

His parents smiled sadly at him and nodded. He took off running to his room to get his bag before his father was even able to get words out. He made sure to shove the bee in the bag with his PJ’s and clothes he would need, along with some of the toys and comics that he knew he and Dean would like.

He was racing down the stairs as his parents were shutting the front door. He opened it as his mom called out, “Did you get your toothbrush?”

“I’ve got one at Deans! Bye!” He wanted to make it to Dean’s room before he let his tears fall. Dean wouldn’t tease him. He wouldn’t want to make him cry _more_ either. He knocked on the door and it swung open as if Dean had been waiting for him.

Dean’s grin was like a balm to his pain. “Heya, Cas.”

“Hello, Dean.” Cas smiled softly and walked into the house knowing that Dean would follow him up the stairs to his room.

They spent the whole weekend reading comics they loved and watching Star Wars while they were cuddled up under blankets. The whole time Cas held onto the bee Hannah let him keep. Dean never asked about it.

It was Sunday morning after breakfast that Sam was playing in his room and Cas and Dean were laying on the bed together reading comics that Dean asked.

“So, Hannah let you keep him?” Cas nodded against Dean’s chest. He was laying with his back to Dean’s chest as they read the comic together.

“Does he have a name?” Dean asked softly.

That was not a question he was expecting, he also knew that the bee didn’t have one. Cas shook his head slowly.

“What are you gonna name him? Can’t just call him _bee_ forever. How about Spider-Man?” Dean suggested

Cas scoffed, “That is a very inaccurate name for him, Dean.”

“Then what do you think you should name him?” Cas smiled.

“I have no idea. Why don’t you name him?” Cas continued when he heard Dean take a breath, “But I get to say no if I don’t like it.”

“Aww... come one.” Dean teased.

They sat in silence for a while. Their breathing and the comics pages turning the only sounds. Before Dean spoke again.

“How about Stabby Butt?” Dean playfully suggested.

Cas smiled at the suggestion. “No.”

“Alright, what about Raphael? I mean, cause of the sword.” Dean cautiously suggested.

“It’s a sai, Dean.” Cas smiled and looked at the bee in hand. “But I like it.”

After that was settled, Dean carefully talked about Hannah and how amazing it was for her to be going off to be a doctor. He helped Cas smile because he pointed out that she was going to be helping people.

“She’s going to fix people when they get broken, Cas. It’s like having a super power, but she has to go to school for it. And she won’t be confined to only _one_ power. She can fix a lot of different things. It’s gonna be awesome.” Dean was smiling as they sat across from one another eating lunch.

Dean’s smile was so big and enthusiastic that Cas couldn’t help but love it. “Yeah, Hannah the super hero. Maybe I should be a super hero too.” Cas smiled.

“If anyone could do it Cas, it would be you.” Dean smiled and brought his plate to the sink to wash it up.

Cas watched him and thought that maybe he should become a doctor too. He could help a lot of people. Maybe a lot of kids. Kids like Dean and Sam who didn’t really have anyone there. Or a doctor that may have been able to help Dean’s mom. Cas looked down at that thought. He knew there was nothing that could have saved her.

He can help fix little kids when he grows up though. He smiled to himself as he finished his lunch and joined Dean at the sink to finish cleaning up.

 

14 years ago

It didn’t happen suddenly. It had been something that had been nagging at him for a long time. He knew that he wasn’t like the other boys. Most of them liked girls and had no problems with that. He also knew how he felt about Dean. It was the best and strongest friendship that he ever had but he also knew that he felt _more_ than that for him. At least he was pretty damn sure he did.

Dean had to leave early to help Ellen before he picked up Sam, so Cas was walking Hael home alone. They had been discussing some assignment related to plate tectonics, there was a lull in the conversation, when suddenly he had arms full of Hael and her lips pressed to his.

She pulled away and looked almost as shocked as he did.

Before he could say anything, she started apologizing. “I’m sorry Castiel. I don’t know what came over me. You obviously don’t like me back. Or you would’ve kissed me back. Right?”

“I don’t know. I was too shocked to really react, Hael.” Cas replies slowly.

She grinned at him. “You want to try again? This time you will know it is coming.”

He nodded, not sure he was fully comfortable with the idea but not wanting to rule it out. He had never kissed anyone aside from his mother and sister and that was always on the cheek. He never really had the urge to kiss a girl before. Maybe if he tried to kiss one, then he would want to kiss more of them. It was worth a shot. He took a deep breath and leaned down towards her face. She smiled up at him and pressed her lips to his.

Her lips were soft and warm. He pressed back and felt like it was a bit stiff so he attempted to relax into the kiss. He wasn’t sure if it was just because it was Hael, who he liked just fine as a friend but nothing more really, or if it was because it was a girl that he was kissing, but it wasn’t what he thought it would be.

Any time he thought about kissing Dean, which was probably more frequently than a best friend should, it created more feelings than this in him. He wasn’t sure how long a kiss was suppose to last. He also wasn’t sure what to do with his hands so they stayed at his side while she moved her lips on his.

Eventually she pulled back with a shy smile. “Well, what did you think?”

He really wasn’t expecting her to ask his opinion on this. “It was satisfactory, I suppose. I don’t have any experience to compare it to though, Hael.”

He watched as she threw her head back laughing. She was pretty when she laughed her smile lit up her face.

“You’re always so serious, Castiel. Is that how you talk all the time?”

He tilted his head at her unsure of what she meant.

“Oh, never mind. Let’s just count that as your first try. If you don’t want to try again, or try again with me, that’s okay. I am not quite sure you are ready for it anyway.” She smiled softly at him.

They continued walking in silence. They reached her house quickly and she waved at him with a big smile before going inside.

He made his way home and was still contemplating the kiss while he was doing his homework. Thankfully it was easy work because he wasn’t sure how he was suppose to think through this without Dean. He was pretty sure though, even if he hadn’t felt anything or even enjoyed the kiss with Hael, he would still immensely enjoy one from Dean.

He didn’t think it was appropriate to tell his best friend that though. Dean had taken interest in girls, so he didn’t want to make him uncomfortable by telling Dean that his were the lips he wanted to kiss. It wouldn’t hurt though to tell Dean that he was positive that he liked boys. Dean wouldn't mind that at all.

He is still thinking about it when the phone rings. Aware his parents weren’t home to answer it he runs and grabs the cordless phone.

“Novak residence.” Cas’ voice was still a bit distant.

“Cas? You okay?”

“Hannah? Is it that time of week already?” His sister’s gentle laugh filled his ears and his heart through the receiver.

“What’s got you thinking so hard you forgot our weekly phone call, brother? A test coming up?”

He wasn’t sure if it was something that he should tell Hannah, about Dean, but he knew that if anyone in this family was going to accept him for who he was it was his sister.

“No. Nothing like that. Actually, Hannah?”

“Yes, Castiel?”

“Hael kissed me today.”  He pulled the receiver away from his ear as his sister let out a very girl like squeal.

“Your first kiss? Wait, it was your first kiss right? Or was it? You haven’t told me anything about anyone since I left so I just assumed that you hadn’t got that far with anyone. Or weren’t interested.” He sighed as he waited for his sister to finish and walked back to his room.

If he was going to tell her anything about this, he didn’t want to risk their parents coming home and overhearing.

“Yes, it was my first kiss.” His voice must have let on how it was anything but special to him.

“You sound disappointed, what happened? Was it that bad? Was it just a peck, or more? I don’t think I want to know if it was more.” Hannah made a very unlady like sound that made him laugh because he was able to picture to mock shudder that went along with it.

“No, it was just-- There was nothing there.”

“What do you mean, Cas? You’re gonna have to clarify,” she hedged.

“I didn’t feel anything. I mean, I’m sure as far as kisses goes it was probably adequate, but I didn’t care for it one way or another.”

“So? You don’t like her. No big deal. Did you let her down easy, lady killer?” The humor in her voice was contagious.

“No I don’t like her, you are right. In fact, I don’t think I like _girls_ at all.” He said it without hesitance but was sure that his sister heard the apprehension in his voice anyway.

Without missing a beat, because this was his sister and she loved him, she came back at him without any mockery, judgement or hesitance of her own. “So you like boys. No big deal.” She said smoothly and it made Cas smile. Then she asked, “Is it Dean?”

“What?” He knew he shouldn’t be so surprised at the question. She knew how close he and Dean were especially after she left for school.

“Come on Cas, don’t play dumb with me. Most of the time we talk, when you are the one talking, about ninety percent of what you talk about is Dean. In fact, it has been for a long time. I don’t know if you are fooling him but you sure can’t fool your big sister.” He could hear the smile on her lips as she spoke.

He sighed. There was no need to hide it now.

“Yeah. I am pretty sure that it is Dean. Would it be weird to say that I think Dean is it for me?”

“Wait, like, you _love_ Dean?”

He nodded. “Yeah.”

She let out a deep sigh and heard rustling like she was putting some papers down and settling in.

“Look, Cas. He is your best friend, has been for a very long time now. I know it isn’t uncommon for things like this to happen. I just…” She sighed again. “I have no doubt in my mind that you love Dean. I am almost willing to bet my career as a doctor on the fact that Dean is it for you when you say it. Don’t think I don’t believe it. You may only be fourteen but most of the time you are way more mature than some of the idiots in my classes.”

She paused as if to think about the words she wanted to say next. He sat still and let out a breath he hadn’t realized he was holding when she spoke again.

“I just, don’t think that now is the time to go confessing your love to him. You are both still young. You have at least four more years before either of you head off to college so you have some time to figure it out. I also think that it is probably a good idea to wait to see how you both present before making any love declarations. Although not widely accepted, it isn’t a hundred percent uncommon for two alphas to get together. That is if that is the way you both go. Besides, you may find that after one or both of you present, you feel differently.”

He let her words sink in. He shook his head though.

“No. I am positive that no matter how we present I will still love him. Designation doesn’t change what is in my heart, Hannah. If I ever tell him how I feel, hopefully he will also feel the same way.”

“You always were a romantic. You also have always known what you wanted. If Dean is it, little brother, than go after it. I would still wait to see about doing that until after you both present, even if it doesn’t change anything for you. It may for him.”  That last part made his heart ache a little.

He was sure that it wouldn’t. He agreed with her anyway. They talked a while longer about other things even though his mind was occupied with only thoughts of Dean. Eventually she let him go claiming some study group she was late for. He knew she didn’t have one, she just sensed his anxiousness. Knew he wanted to get to Dean.

Cas looked at the clock after he finished his call with Hannah. Dean was going to be home soon. Cas had enough time to finish up some of his homework before he went down the street to find his best friend

When Cas got to Dean’s house, it was his best friend that greeted him with a big smile. Dean was wearing a smile and black apron and had a towel in one of his hands as he motioned for Cas to come in before he turned back to the kitchen.

Cas shut the door and followed him in. He settled in at the counter as Dean finished up dinner and Cas helped Sam with his homework. It was familiar. It was something that filled Cas with happiness. He knew that he loved these two and always wanted them in his life.

It didn’t seem like much time had passed before dinner was done, the kitchen cleaned up and Sam was in his room for the night. Cas was already on the bed reading some comics when Dean came back in with a couple glasses of water and candy bars for them. He set the waters down on the bedside table and then tossed a candy to Cas.

“Scoot.” Dean climbed on the bed and let Cas settle between his legs as they read through the comic while eating their candy.

Finally Dean spoke up, “What’s up, Cas? You’re fidgeting.” Dean’s voice sounded slightly strained.

Cas held still after taking a deep breath, “Hael kissed me today.”

Cas felt Dean’s body still before he slowly blew his own breath out. “Yeah? How was it?” Dean’s voice sounded wrong even to Cas’ ears.

“It wasn’t anything.” Cas shrugged.

“What do you mean?” Dean sounded perplexed now, “You got kissed, man. Wasn’t that, I don’t know, exciting?”

“I don’t think I like girls, Dean. I’m actually pretty positive of it.” Cas’ voice was quiet, even though he knew that his best friend would never think less of him for his preferences.

“Hey, that’s alright. I mean, there is no rule saying you _have_ to like girls. Besides, we haven’t even presented yet, you might change your mind after you present. Or not.” Dean’s voice was calm and Cas wanted to look at him but was afraid what he may find.

“I don’t think that will change.” Cas admitted.

“That’s cool. I mean, I’ve— I mean, I think that—” Dean took a deep breath, his chest lifting and moving Cas, “I think I like guys too.”

Cas sat up and turned to face Dean with an unspoken question in his eyes.

“I mean, I still like girls. But,” Dean looked down at the comforter where Cas was sitting between his legs, “I just think that I like both. You know?”

A smile spread across Cas’ face and he waited until Dean actually looked up at him again. “Yeah, I know. There is nothing wrong with that.”

Dean nodded at Cas once and smiled at him. Cas settled back in his spot as they continued to read their comic.

 

12 years ago

Cas had presented as alpha the year before when he was 15. The year following was a bit crazy. With sports and his friendship with Dean, he barely noticed all the omega girls that Dean always told him were fawning over him.

Dean always seemed off when they would sit in the cafeteria and some omega girl would come over to Cas and smile at him while chatting him up using the excuse that she hadn’t understood the easy assignment that their English teacher gave them.

Cas only smiled politely at them and then when Dean would bring up that they wanted Cas’ knot, Cas would shake his head. “Dean, you are well aware that I find no interest in females, no matter their secondary gender.”

That always seemed to put Dean at ease. It seemed that Dean had not presented and was a beta. Although Dean didn’t really _date,_ he did take interest in other beta’s and even omegas, primary gender was never really an issue for Dean the way it was for Castiel. It did seem that secondary was though. He never really saw Dean with any alpha guys or girls.

Not that either of them entertained any _real_ relationships. Between school, sports, and spending all their time together and with Sam, they didn’t really have much time for relationships outside of their friendship.

There was also college to consider. Dean was focused on getting the best grades possible so that he could get a scholarship, Cas did the same. So that’s what they did. They studied together, they hung out together, they helped Sam with his homework together.

Just like it had always been. Cas couldn’t help but be secretly pleased with the fact that things hadn’t changed. He knew it wasn’t fair to feel like Dean was his, but he couldn’t help it sometimes.

Hannah always encouraged him to tell Dean, especially now that they were both sure about their secondary genders and Castiel obviously didn’t feel different for Dean just because of them.

Cas wanted to, so badly. He continued to hold back though because he was worried about Dean. He didn’t want to lose his lifelong best friend. What if it changed things, just because he loved Dean didn’t mean that Dean loved him back.

What would be worse is if Dean didn’t love him back but they still wanted to be friends. That would put stress on their friendship that Cas was sure he couldn’t handle.

It became harder than ever to not tell Dean how he felt when Sam left for a friend’s house for the weekend to celebrate a birthday.

Dean made sure that Cas was able to come over for the entire weekend. John has actually been on one of his better moments, seemed healthy and had a job. It was nights so they hadn’t needed to worry about John finding them when they snuck into the liquor that John just couldn’t bring himself to throw out even if he wasn’t drinking it.

Dean knew that he didn’t have to worry about responsibilities, so they picked two bottles, knowing they wouldn’t drink them both and would put them back the next day. Dean sent Cas up to his room with both bottles while he headed to the kitchen to grab food and water.

They spent that night drinking and reading comics and watching movies as they talked through them. At first Cas was between Dean’s legs when they were reading comics, but before they put on the movie, they got up and used the restroom and Cas had sat down first.

Dean walked back into the room and gestured at Cas’ legs so that he could make room. Cas spread them to make room for Dean as Dean sat the fresh glasses of water down on the table and crawled onto the bed.

Maybe it was the alcohol, maybe it was his desire and love for Dean, but Cas felt like he was floating a bit, everything felt warm and fuzzy, it seemed like a very good idea to nuzzle Dean’s neck.

He wasn’t completely bold about it, and thought that he was being sly when he rested his chin on Dean’s shoulder. After a few moments, he turned his head slightly and subtly scented his best friend. Dean went still in Cas’ arms before he relaxed and went back to watching the movie on the tiny TV on Dean’s dresser. Cas wasn’t sure if it was his imagination or if it was intentional when Dean’s head tilted slightly, giving Cas better access to Dean’s throat.

Before he could stop himself, he found himself nuzzling Dean’s neck softly but stopped when he heard Dean’s chuckle.

“I always forget how much of a touchy drinker you are. Always wanting to cuddle.” Dean’s voice sounded breathy and  Cas could hope that it was him causing it and not the alcohol, but he wasn’t about to get his hopes up. 

“Shut it, Winchester. You love to cuddle when we drink too.” Cas wrapped his arms around him tighter and nuzzled his neck deeper, playfully, and then rested his chin back on his shoulder.

“You will tell no one that upon punishment of death, Novak.” Dean softly tilted his head back and knocked Cas’.

They were watching Dirty Dancing, a movie that Dean only watched when it was just the two of them. Cas never mentioned it and neither did Dean. Sitting up for a moment Dean reached back and grabbed his shirt collar and pulled it over his head. Mumbling something about being too warm.

Cas smirked, “You know, you’re right.” He placed a hand to Dean’s back, his flesh not really that warm, he knew it must have been the alcohol. Wanting nothing more than to feel Dean’s body against his, skin to skin, Cas also removed his shirt and tossed it onto the floor with Dean’s.

As soon as Dean’s naked back touched Cas’ chest, Cas had to hold back a moan.

Watching the way the bodies on the screen moved as they danced always had an interesting effect on Dean. Dean began to squirm a little and Cas wasn’t sure how much he could take before he was going to get hard. He knew that Dean would feel it. There was no way he wouldn’t with their positions.

They took a few more shots and Dean continued to squirm. It wasn’t long before Dean shifted and Cas _knew_ that he felt the hardness in his pajama pants. Dean stilled for a moment before settling back against Cas like it was nothing. It didn’t take long before Dean spoke up.

“You know,” Dean gave a nervous chuckle, “I really find Patrick Swazye attractive. Watching him move his body like that?” There was a heavy pause, “I’m probably more than half hard.” Dean gave another nervous laugh that reverberated through Cas, making his own dick twitch against Dean’s lower back.

Cas cleared his throat, “Yeah, I completely understand.”

Cas could hear the smile in Dean’s voice, and a little more confidence when he spoke, “Yeah, I could tell.” And the asshole pressed back and wiggled a little, making Cas groan, before sitting up.

“That was evil, Dean.” Cas tried and probably failed to keep the edge out of his voice. Dean, the assbutt, just laughed.

“Ever think about the things you want, Cas? I mean, sexually? Or the people?” Dean’s back was still to him.

Cas’ eye roamed all over his best friends body, his naked back and the muscles earned from hard work as an athlete and hard worker. He mapped the freckles over his back and connected them in his mind. He wasn’t sure how long it was before he answered, but it must not have been too long since Dean didn’t prompt him again.

“Yeah, I do.” Cas could hear how rough his voice sounded when he spoke.

“Who? You know what nevermind. I don’t want to know.” Dean spoke quickly and Cas watched Dean’s back rise as he took a deep breath. He suddenly let it out and moved back.

He didn’t move back to his usual spot though. Instead he sat against the headboard next to Cas. Cas felt like his body was on fire in all the places that he and Dean were touching. He glanced at Dean with a question on his lips.

“Just keep watching the movie.” Dean didn’t meet his eyes, only nodded to the tv.

It was hard to concentrate on the movie again. The room was filled with a tension and Cas wasn’t sure why or what to do to get it to go away. It didn’t help that Dean wouldn’t stop moving.

After a short while Dean spoke up again, “If you want to take care of that, you can. I won’t...it’s cool.”

Cas looked over at Dean and tilted his head at him, “Take care of —”

“Yeah, Cas. if you wanted to get off. Go for it.” Dean didn’t once look at him, he gave a vague gesture towards Cas’ pants and the obvious tent in his thin pajama pants.

Cas’ mouth opened in a soundless “oh”, “I will be alright. Unless it makes you uncomfortable, I don’t really think I should ‘handle it’ in someone else’ bathroom.”

Dean scoffed, “Dude, I’m not uncomfortable and stop with the finger quotes.” Then Dean added more quietly, “I didn’t mean in the bathroom. You can...right here. We can keep watching the movie.” Dean shrugged and Cas swore his cheeks were pink.

“I wouldn’t want to make you—” Dean cut him off again.

“It wouldn’t make me uncomfortable. Would _you_ be uncomfortable?” Dean swallowed nervously before rambling on. “Okay, how about we do it at the same time. I’ve… got a situation that could stand to be handled too.”

Cas finally looked down into Dean’s lap and confirmation was staring him back in the face covered by grey sweatpants. He couldn’t help but smile a little as he looked back at the TV.

He shrugged and grabbed the waistband of his pajama pants with one hand as he took the bottle from the table and drank a swig of it as he pulled his pajamas and boxers down to free his straining cock. He settled them both right below his balls and he swore he heard a soft gasp from Dean as he did.

He offered Dean the bottle and glanced over at him as he took it. Dean mirrored his actions and Cas’ mouth watered at the sight of Dean’s beautiful uncut cock protruding up towards his belly and the tip shiny with precome. Cas licked his lips wishing for nothing more than to lick it and taste _Dean_.

Dean handed him the bottle back and kept his eyes forward. “Let’s not make it weird.”

Can nodded and did his best to not look directly at Dean’s hand as it began moving smoothly over his dick. Instead, Cas watched from the corner of his eye and finally took his own erection in hand. The only sound in the room was Patrick Swayze and Jennifer Grey and the soft sounds of hands moving over heated flesh as they built up to their orgasms.

Cas wanted to close his eyes and bury his nose in Dean’s throat as he moved his hand teasingly over his knot, he couldn’t though, he wasn’t going to deprive himself the sight of his best friend enjoying himself.

Cas felt the heat begin to pool low in his belly. Each stroke, even when he was slow and deliberate, helped him get closer to the edge.

He wished nothing more than to be able to help Dean, to use his own hand on Dean’s beautiful cock. To watch Dean’s face, flushed with arousal, freckles pronounced. To see what Dean looked like completely and utterly sated by his hands and mouth.

Dean let out a tiny whimper and Cas squeezed his dick right below his knot to stop it from expanding at the sound. He wanted nothing more than to hear the other noises that Dean would make.

Cas took a deep inhale of their mixed scents and… Cas swore that he could smell _omega_ in the air. Aroused omega slick. His mind must be fucking with him.

He wanted so badly that his alcohol soaked brain was creating phantom scents. He couldn’t help the moan that escaped his lips when he took another inhale and wrapped his hand around his knot. Suddenly Dean gasped out a low moan and Cas saw from the corner of his eye as Dean came, sticky come shooting up Dean’s chest and on one of his nipples.

Cas’ immediate thought was that he wanted nothing more than to lick every drop from Dean’s skin before nibbling on that nipple. That thought pushed him over the edge and his knot expanded and he came all over his hand and chest. One hand kept working his knot as he came once more, pleasure suffusing his entire body.

He bit down hard on his bottom lip not trusting that he wouldn't call out Dean’s name as another orgasm tore through him as he massaged his knot. Right before he closed his eyes to drown in the pleasure he saw Dean staring at him. He must have imagined the hunger in Dean’s eyes as Cas covered himself in his own spend.

When Cas finally stopped coming, he knocked the back of his head against the headboard and took a deep breath. When he opened his eyes, Dean was already gone. Cas tried not to feel disappointed.

Before too long, Dean returned to his room with more water, the bottles of alcohol were gone, and threw a towel at Cas. Somewhere, Cas registered that Dean was no longer wearing the sweatpants, but figured that Dean must have got some come on them.

Without looking directly at him, Dean went and turned the movie off even though it wasn’t finished. Apparently Dean wanted to go to bed. Cas could barely move as he forced his arms into action to clean up his body and pull his pajamas back up over his swollen, sensitive knot. All he wanted was to pull Dean into bed and cuddle up around him and sleep.

“If you want, you can shower or whatever before you brush your teeth for bed.” Dean motioned in the direction of the door and Cas felt like he was being dismissed. So he took his leave to the bathroom, dropping his towel on the top of the dirty laundry basket on his way.

Walking to the bathroom was slow going, every movement sent a shock of oversensitivity through his knot as it rubbed against his boxers. He locked the bathroom door behind him and pulled his cock out once more, tucking his boxers and pajamas under his balls as he washed his hands, face, took a rag and washed his chest and even his dick, very carefully, before brushing his teeth.

He took a few deep breaths and looked down at his dick and shook his head before carefully pulling his pants back up over it. When he finally returned to the room, Dean had changed the sheets and suddenly worried that he may have shot all over Dean’s bed.

Dean was already in bed with his back to the door. So Cas quietly shut the door, turned off the light, crawled into bed next to his best friend, and tried really hard not to think about what just happened. Maybe the alcohol would help him get to sleep without having to wait for his knot to go down.

The next morning, like every morning after they spent the night together, Cas woke with Dean in his arms and Cas’ leg between Dean’s. The light in the room suggested that it was still very early, and that there was no way Dean was going to wake yet, especially with the little snores coming from him as his hot breath puffed out onto Cas’ throat where Dean’s nose was pressed.

Cas cuddled even closer, his movement casing Dean to groan and tighten his arms around Cas. Cas fell back to sleep more content than he ever could be. They never talked about what happened that night, and they never repeated it. Cas held onto the details tightly, knowing that could possibly be the closest he would ever get to having Dean.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was supposed to have continued this earlier this year but then things went to shit. Less than a month after I updated the last chapter with an authors note my mom ended up dying and sending things into a crazy mess.  
> But here is an update! I hope to have the next (and last) chapter up soon as well. It is almost finished. 
> 
> If you enjoyed and want to come yell at me about it you can find me on Tumblr as [FormidablePassion](http://formidablepassion.tumblr.com)  
> I promise I’m nice.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After Castiel reveled to Dean that he was in love with him, Dean and Cas finally come clean about their feelings and manage to work things out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This has been more than a year and a half in the making. I never gave up on this story and I was determined to complete it before 2018, I am posting this about ten minutes before January 1, 2018. But I did it.   
> Much thanks to [TreeFrogie](http://archiveofourown.org/users/TreeFrogie84) for spending her new years eve with me to beta this and the previous chapter so that I could realize my goal of finishing before the new year.   
> I hope that you all enjoy it.   
> And that wraps up this fic and 2017.

 

“Dean. I’m in love with you.” 

Dean’s breath caught. These were words that he never thought that he would hear from his best friend. Words that he held so protectively buried deep inside his own heart firmly under lock and key never to escape and ruin his friendship. 

He felt those chains and locks now breaking and falling away. His heart was beating erratically and he knew his scent had to be all over the place. While inside he was filling with a heat that had absolutely nothing at all to do with the liquor that they had been consuming his mind was racing. 

He had to be sure he heard him correctly. He had to know if this is what he was going to say to him that night. Surely Cas hadn’t wanted to say the same thing to him that he yearned so desperately to say to him. 

“What?” It was so quiet he almost didn’t hear himself ask the breathless question.

“I am in love with you, Dean. I have been for longer than I can remember. It has always been you.” Cas’ resolve seemed to harden as he spoke.

Words that made Dean’s entire world shift. 

“Even…” he swallowed and tried again. “Even when you thought I was a beta?” 

“Especially then, Dean. It isn’t your designation that I care about. It’s  _ you _ .” 

The look in those blue eyes. A look so full of love and desire. A look he always wanted directed at him. He realized that he never actually had seen that look directed at anyone else before. It was jolting. To suddenly realize that everything, every touch, every smile, every word, for ten years may have had a hidden meaning. 

The world fell away from him as all the times he could remember with Cas flashed through his mind.

The way they would touch. Wrap themselves around one another and sleep in the same bed. Spend every free moment with one another. Hell, Cas had practically helped him raise Sammy as much as Ellen had. The way they would scent mark one another before they even presented. Then after. Comforting one another. He was almost sure that when other best friends read comic books they never sat between the others legs the way they did. That one night that made watching Dirty Dancing nearly impossible without getting hard and thinking of Cas. 

“Dean?” Cas’ voice was filled with concern. 

He looked up to him unblinking. 

“Are you alright? I didn’t upset you did I?” 

“All this time…” Dean didn’t want to think about it. 

His mind wouldn’t stop though. Every single day that passed since graduation. All the days apart since they left for college on separate sides of the country. They could have been together. They could have had a life together the last tenyears. 

Or, at the very least, the last five or six after college was over. If only one of them had been brave enough to say the things that needed to be said that night.

“Dean. All this time what?” 

Dean couldn’t help it. He began to laugh. Eventually Cas had to grab his shoulders and hold him up so he wouldn’t slide off the bar stool. Much to Dean’s amazement even with Dean laughing in his face without explanation, after his declaration of love, Cas held it together.

He didn’t smell angry, hurt, confused, or anything. He just smelled like Cas. Neutral right now. Cautious. Dean took in a breath close to Cas, taking in his scent deep into him. Looking up to his best friend. Meeting his eyes. They were so close. He could feel the warmth of his breath across his face. It was perfect.

“We could have been together, Cas. This whole time.” He laughed again then.

“What are you saying, Dean? I’m not sure how this is funny.” Cas’ seriousness only made him laugh harder.

After he regained his composure he turned in his stool and he finally took another breath leveling a happy smile at the man now across from him.

“Cas. We were ridiculous. If only just one of us would have opened our mouths back then… both our lives would be much different.” 

Cas smiled at him. 

“I’ve been in love with you since… probably forever, Cas. I never thought that you felt the same way. I never wanted to lose you in my life. Or Sam’s for that matter. So I just kept my mouth shut.” Dean finally confessed.

It was Cas’ turn to laugh then. It was deep and rich and pure. It made Dean smile wide.

“I see why you believe it’s funny.” He took steadying breaths and reached over to cup Dean’s face and stroke the pad of his thumb across his cheekbone.

They sat in silence for a moment just staring at one another. The scent of happiness so thick around them it was probably hard for anyone to breathe.

“Dean, would you like to come up to my room with me? I just think a change of location might suit us well.” The heat in Cas’ gaze sent shivers up Dean’s spine.

Dean nodded and Cas dropped his hand to Dean’s, taking it and gently rubbing his thumb over  his pulse point before lacing their fingers together. The subtle scent marking made Dean smile. They both stood and, staying close, Dean followed Cas to the elevator to head up to his room.

As soon as the elevator doors opened, they both stepped in and Dean pressed close against Cas’ side when the doors closed and, with an arm around his shoulder, nuzzled his nose to his neck inhaling deeply. He missed Cas’ scent. 

“Dean.” Cas’ deep rumbling voice washed over him and made him shiver. 

Dean could scent the happiness and desire on Cas. He remembered what Cas’ scent smelled like when aroused. He would never forget. He knew that they had a lot to discuss but all Dean wanted right now was to ravish Cas. 

Really, he wanted nothing more than to have Cas’ knot locked deep inside of him and matching mating bites on their necks. And while that was a possibility now, the rational voice in his head was telling him that they spent ten years apart and things could have changed. They didn’t  _ really _ know one another as well as they used to.

There were arms wrapped around him tightly suddenly. “Dean? Are you alright?” Cas’ voice was filled with concern. 

“You smell,” Cas leaned his head into Dean’s neck and scented him, “sad.” Suddenly Cas was gone from his arms and Dean barely caught the whimper that wanted to escape at the loss. 

“Is this not… Dean, please talk to me.” Cas sounded and smelled so worried. 

“Cas,” Dean moved back to his best friend and pressed him into the corner of the elevator. The elevator dinged before he could kiss him and the doors opened. There were voices outside so they parted and almost didn’t step out of the elevator until Cas realized that it was his floor. 

Cas took Dean’s hand and pulled him along, knowing eyes watching them leave. Dean didn’t care. He would never again care what others thought, he would never again let Cas go. They wasted too much time apart. Determination filled Dean and he held tighter to Cas’ hand.

As soon as they got into Cas’ room Dean locked the door and followed Cas to the center of the room. Cas looked so unsure and Dean hated that. So he walked right up into Cas’ space and let his eyes roam over Cas’ face. Dean may be an omega, but Cas was still slightly shorter than him.

He looked into the blue eyes that he loved since he was a child and took in the features of his now adult best friend. His facial structure had only become more pronounced with age, his jaw alone should have artists begging to immortalize it in marble. Dean wanted nothing more than to kiss and bite at the stubble that was there. 

His eyes moved to Cas lips and back up to his eyes before he leaned in, holding Cas’ gaze as their lips finally met for the first time. Dean wasn’t sure which one of them moaned into the kiss as his eyes closed but it was electrifying and everything Dean had hoped it would be. Cas’ lips were soft and warm as they moved against Dean’s mouth. 

Dean’s hands came up to Cas’ hips and pulled him flush against his body. Now that he had Cas here he wanted to  _ show _ him exactly how he felt. He needed Cas like air. Cas pulled back from the kiss with a gasp when Dean rutted gently against him. 

“Dean…” Dean’s mouth moved down to Cas’ tantalizing jaw and did exactly as he wanted, left kisses and little nips all over it as he move down to his neck, leaving tiny pink marks behind him. Cas’ breathing grew more labored the closer that Dean got to his scent gland. 

Before he knew what was happening, Dean was being held at arms length as Cas stepped back out of Dean’s grasp. “Cas?” Dean asked as he tried to calm his breath and the blood rushing in his ears. 

Cas swallowed hard and Dean tracked the movement of his throat. “Dean, I think that we should have a discussion before...before…” Cas took a deep breath and groaned. Dean knew exactly what Cas was smelling. 

“Before we fuck?” Dean asked with a smirk. 

“Something like that.” Cas stepped further back letting his hands drop from Dean’s shoulders. 

“We can talk later, can’t we?” Dean stepped forward once more and stopped as soon as Cas put his hands up. 

“Dean, I have been in love with you since, probably the first year we met, I just didn’t know it since we were only eight.” Dean laughed a little at that. 

“I actually realized it when we were twelve, but didn’t know for sure until we were fourteen. I’ve always wanted to be with you. You never really showed much interest in alphas so I figured that you weren’t interested in me. I wanted to tell you all of this ten years ago. I apologize for not doing so. I really should have.” Cas looked so sad when he finished, a sour smell gave away his regrets. 

“Cas, man. You asked if I was okay in the elevator. It’s been a long time. We haven’t kept in contact the way best friends should. I’ll admit it was difficult for me. I wanted nothing more than to call you all the time, and to Skype with you. I wanted to fly out and spend holidays with you. I wanted you in my life. It just… it  _ hurt _ that we weren’t together. I didn’t think you wanted me. So eventually the occasional email was all I could manage. Half the time, I didn’t even trust myself sending those,” Dean confessed. 

Maybe it was the alcohol, though Dean doubted it, but he  _ needed _ to get this out. Cas  _ had _ to know how Dean felt. 

“Look I started to freak for a second there in the elevator because, it has been a long time apart. We are different people now, we have extremely different lives, hell we don’t even live near one another. I don’t want to think about the future at this exact moment, I’m sure everything will work out. I just...“ Dean looked down at his feet. “What if you figure out that you don’t love me? What if you end up not wanting the person I grew up to be?” Dean was hesitant to look up at his best friend. 

“Dean, look at me.” Cas stepped closer so that Dean was able to see his shoes near his own. 

When Dean didn’t look up right away, Cas’ warm hand gently grasped his chin and guided Dean’s eyes up. Dean kept his eyes down until Cas sighed and softly spoke, “Dean, look at me, please.” 

When Dean met Cas’ eyes they were bright with affection. Cas’ smell was intoxicating. “Dean, I know we have both changed, but I don’t think those changes are drastic enough that we won’t want one another. I know I doubt I would ever be able to fall out of love with you. If ten years apart couldn’t stop me from loving you, I doubt getting to know you again will change that.” 

Dean couldn’t help the smile that ghosted his lips as he nodded. He felt the truth in Cas’ words and let his eyes slip down to Cas’ mouth once more. “I really want to kiss you again.” Dean whispered. 

“Dean, I want nothing more than to kiss you and explore your entire body with my mouth. I need to know though, where are our boundaries tonight?” Cas’ serious face was back.

Dean took a breath. This was important. They needed to talk about this. He needed to think clearly.

“Cas, I don’t want to wait any longer, but I’ve waited our whole lives. If you don’t want to tonight, I can wait longer. You’re worth it. You’re worth everything.” Dean felt his face heat up at that admission but refused to look away. Cas needed to know. 

“You have always been worth everything to me too, Dean. You’ve been it for me for a long time. It’s why I’m pushing thirty and have never had a relationship last longer than a year.” 

Dean chuckled because he knew that feeling. “I’ve almost made it to the two year mark once.” Dean shook his head softly and Cas moved his hand from Dean’s chin to the side of his neck letting his thumb stroke his pulse point. 

“What happened?” Cas’ voice was open and curious. 

“I just couldn’t. She was sweet. Understanding. Cute beta with a desire for more than I could give. So we decided to part ways. She actually told me once ‘Dean, you need to go find whoever it is that holds your heart and find happiness.’ I don’t know how she knew. She just did.” Dean took a small step towards Cas. 

“That was a few years ago. Haven’t dated anyone since. Haven’t even… haven’t  _ been with _ anyone since then. Just didn’t feel right.” Dean never thought that he would admit it out loud. 

“What about your heats?” Cas asked, concerned. 

Dean shrugged. Sure, they had been painful in a way that they weren’t when he had someone to help him through. But a fake knot was always more appealing than someone that wasn’t Cas. Dean always felt ridiculous afterwards. Never knew if he would even have a chance to have Cas. 

“We are something, aren’t we? Wasted all this time. I’m sorry, Dean. I imagine that your heats spent alone were… not pleasant.” Cas pulled Dean close and held him against his chest, Dean’s nose automatically went to Cas’ throat to scent him. He would never get enough of  _ Cas _ .

“Well,” Dean hedged, “hopefully I won’t have to spend any more of my heats alone.” Dean waited to see what Cas’ reaction would be, sure it would be positive.

“You want to give me your heats, Dean?” Cas’ voice was slightly rougher and Dean could smell the subtle change in his scent. 

He nodded and spoke quietly, “Yes. If you want.”

“Always, Dean.” Cas pulled Dean away carefully and looked into his eyes, “Let’s talk about right now. You’ve...mentioned that you’ve not been with anyone in a couple years?” 

Dean swallowed and nodded.

“Work has kept me busy and I haven’t been with anyone since my last relationship almost a year ago.” Cas was hinting at something here and Dean was not sure he was getting the right idea. 

“What are you asking here, Cas?” Dean smiled slightly. 

“Well, I was hopeful, but not expectant. I,” Cas looked away for a moment as a blush rose on his cheeks and he looked back to Dean, “I don’t have any protection with me, so if you wanted to, you know… we don’t have to, we can wait. There are other things that we can do. Or not do.” 

Dean almost smiled, he was sure that there was amusement shining in his eyes. Cas was adorable all flustered and unsure. Dean couldn’t be more sure of what he wanted. If everything went the way it seemed it would go after tonight, Cas would be the only person Dean was with for the rest of his life. 

“Cas, were you tested after your last partner?” Dean asked. 

“Of course. I have regular testing done. I need to make sure I’m completely healthy, especially for my patients’ protection. I’ve always been disease free and have never taken risks.” Cas answered very matter of factly.

Dean nodded, “I have been tested once a year since I became sexually active, even during the last few when I wasn’t. I’ve never been anything but healthy and clean.” Dean raised his eyebrows in a silent question. 

Cas’ eyes searched his face for understanding. “Oh.” 

The scent shifted slightly and Cas’ nostrils flared with alpha arousal. Dean felt himself getting wetter, he was sure Cas could smell it by the way his pupils started to dilate. 

“So let me get this perfectly clear,” Cas’ hands moved to Dean’s hips and his fingers dug in ever so slightly, “You’re saying that since we are both in the clear, have finally admitted everything to one another, and are willing to make things work, you want have sex with me?  _ Without _ any protection?” Cas asked carefully. 

Dean could only nod, the desire for Cas he’d always felt was thrumming under his skin, slowly stoking the heat in his body to a full fire.

“Dean, are you on birth control?” Dean knew there was only one reason for that question. 

“Implant. It’s never failed me before. Cas, I need you to knot me.” Dean told him confidently. 

Cas nearly growled at his words. “I’m going to do so much more than that, Dean.” 

Cas leaned in and kissed Dean senseless as he let his hand roam under Dean’s shirt. Between kisses, Cas let his mouth roam to Dean’s jaw and throat.

“I’m going taste every inch of your body. I’ve craved you for as long as I can remember.” Cas stopped his kisses to pull Dean’s shirt off his body. A sharp inhale gave away Cas’ reaction to finally seeing Dean’s body again after all these years. 

Dean worked hard to keep the body he worked so hard for when he was an active athlete. He knew that he wasn’t as hard bodied but was still very fit. It was still gratifying to watch Cas’ eyes widen once his torso was exposed, watching carefully.

Cas captured his mouth in another heated kiss and Dean willingly pressed his body against his best friend,  _ lover? Boyfriend? Love of his life. _ And allowed his own hands to roam over Cas’ body. He could feel the strong muscles of Cas’ back under his shirt. He needed to feel Cas’ skin against his own.

“Get this off,” Dean mumbled against Cas’ lips and began to unbutton Cas’ shirt with fingers that shook slightly as they worked. Cas hummed against his mouth as Dean worked. Cas’ fingers traced Dean’s shoulder blades carefully before moving to his side and letting his fingers dance down Dean’s ribs, every touch leaving him heated and needy. 

As soon as Cas’ shirt was off, Dean’s hands were on him, touching him everywhere. His fingers trailed along his back and over his strong arms, down his chest, up over his ribs. Dean pulled away from the kiss to take a look at Cas and lost his next breath. 

Cas had tattoos. He had a script in a language that looked like a bunch of random shapes to Dean, on his left ribs. His left arm was a full sleeve of what looked like Latin words wrapped around from shoulder to wrist. Dean traced the unfamiliar script on Cas’ ribs and watched the goose bumps rise on his skin. 

Dean leaned down to kiss the tattoo and let his lips move up back to where they belonged. Cas reached down to take hold of Dean’s pants quickly removed his belt and swiftly unbuttoned them, slowly moved the zipper down and let them fall to his feet. 

He then kissed his way down Dean’s throat again and licked and sucked marks on his skin, Dean hoped they were dark enough that he would be able to admire them tomorrow. The desire to show Cas’ claim over him sent a chill down Dean’s spine. 

Cas nosed over Dean’s scent gland and licked it as his hands pulled him close again. The moment that Cas grabbed Dean’s ass he bit down, not hard enough to break skin, but enough to draw a moan from Dean and cause his cock to jump as slick begin dampening his boxers.

Cas could obviously smell Dean’s arousal as the slick built up. He growled and squeezed Dean’s ass before moving his mouth down further. Dean let his hand slide from Cas’ arms to his shoulders as he continued to move lower, his breath hot on Dean’s skin, his lips and tongue leaving behind a cool trail as he went. 

“I can’t wait to taste you, Dean. You smell so delicious. I always thought you smelled amazing when I thought you were a beta, now you smell a million times better.” Cas grabbed the waistband of Dean’s boxers with his teeth and pulled them out a fraction before he released them.

Cas reached down and removed Dean’s shoes, socks, and allowed him to use Cas’ shoulders to balance as he stepped from his slacks. As he looked up at Dean, eyes dark with desire, he let his nose slide up the length of Dean’s cock. Once he reached the tip, he wrapped those sinful lips around it through the fabric and just held it in the warmth. 

Dean whimpered and held himself still. He wanted nothing more than to feel the hot wet heat of Cas’ mouth on him. He could be patient though. He wanted to get Cas naked first, he needed to see him. 

“Cas.” It was an almost broken whimper that Dean would be ashamed of if he wasn’t so desperate for Cas. 

Cas pulled away enough to speak, “I’m right here, Dean. I’m not going anywhere.” 

Dean reached down and pulled Cas up to stand. Dean’s hand moved down to Cas’ own belt and pants and he made quick work of them. Sliding to his knees he pulled down the pants and rid Cas of his own socks and shoes, tossing the whole mess to the side of the room. 

Unlike Cas, Dean watched Cas’ face for his reaction when pulled his boxer briefs down. The thick cock stood proud and leaking and Dean’s mouth watered. He let the underwear slide to the floor and he was too distracted to notice Cas kicking them aside. 

Before Dean even had a chance to lick the glistening tip of Cas’ beautiful uncut cock, he was distracted once again by another tattoo. Wrapped around Cas’ hips and resting on his could-cut-glass hip bones were blue tipped feathers. Dean ran his fingers over them and looked up at Cas. 

Without being prompted, Cas turned slowly so that Dean could take in the massive tattoo covering Cas’ back. Wings. The base and top were black, then the black feathers blended to a deep beautiful green as the wings went down his back, then the green blended perfectly into the brilliant blue at the tips of the wings. 

“Holy shit, Cas. This is…” Dean wasn’t even sure what word to use to describe the wings that adorned Cas’ body. 

“A bit much?” Cas smiled over his shoulder as he turned back to face Dean, still on his knees. 

“They are magnificent.” Dean smiled up at Cas, “Just like you.” 

The soft smile on Cas’ face turned quickly to one of pleasure as Dean took him into his mouth. He moaned around Cas as he tasted him. He was sure that there was no way there was a better taste in the entire world. 

Dean worked him deep, one of his hands wrapped around one of Cas’ thick thighs, fingers digging in slightly, and the other resting at the base of Cas’ dick, finger and thumb as far around the base as possible. 

“Fuck, Dean. I don’t know how long I will last if you keep doing that, and I  _ really _ want to be inside you. You  _ did _ ask for my knot.” Cas’ voice was as affected as Dean felt.  

Dean licked and teased every inch as he slowly pulled off of Cas. 

“Fuuuuck.” Cas’ head was thrown back and his thighs were trembling. “Dean, it’s been too long without the touch of another person. You are going to make me lose it very quickly.” 

Dean released him and chuckled. “It’s been way longer for me, man. I can already tell you that this first time I’m going to be gone almost too quick to really be able to enjoy it.” 

“Then I suppose I better make sure I bring you as much pleasure as possible before I let you have that orgasm.” Cas playfully smiled at Dean and reached to lift him from the floor. 

“Maybe we can save all the long drawn out stuff for next time. I  _ really  _ want to feel this,” Dean couldn’t help but grab Cas’ hard cock, “beautiful thing buried so deep inside me that there is no doubt about me feeling it tomorrow.” 

Cas opened his mouth then closed it before pressing forward to kiss Dean hard. “Get on the bed,” he growled low at Dean. “Lose the damn boxers, I need to see you.” 

Dean had never been so quick to obey anyone in his life. He pulled his boxers off as he reached the bed and then looked back at Cas over his shoulder and grinned before slowly crawling on the bed, adding a slight sway to his hips,  _ knowing _ that Cas was watching. 

Another deep growl from Cas made Dean shiver, then Cas was just  _ there _ . He grabbed Dean’s thighs and pulled him back towards the edge of the bed so that he could reach Dean. He rested his head on the bed and lifted his hips up as an invitation to alpha. 

Cas made a broken sobbing sound before his hands moved from Dean’s thighs up to his ass and spread him open. Dean felt his face heat at the thought of being in such an exposed and compromising position. He never presented like this for anyone before. He felt slick drip down his thigh at the idea of doing this only for Cas. 

Quickly, that drop of slick was lapped up by Cas’ warm tongue and a moan. “Dean, you taste so incredible.” 

Cas’ hands moved his thumbs closer to Dean’s hole as he held him open, he could feel the tips of Cas’ thumbs right at his rim, pulling just slightly. 

“You have no idea how many times I’ve thought about doing this, Dean. How many times I have imagined what you would taste like. How you would sound as I licked you open for my cock.” Dean shivered as the realization hit him that Cas had thought about doing that to  _ beta _ Dean. He  _ still _ wanted to eat him out without the slick. 

“Well go ahead. It’s all yours.” Dean sounded breathless to his own ears. He was shaking in anticipation. 

“I plan to. I want to make you scream my name as I lick up all this delicious slick.” Cas’ fingers tightened on his ass as he pulled and squeezed Dean’s ass. 

Before he knew it, Cas’ mouth was there, kissing and lapping at Dean’s hole. The noises alone were enough to make Dean want to come right then. Dean was so wet, so ready for Cas. Cas circled Dean’s hole with his tongue and pressed in slightly with both his thumbs as he pulled gently and stretched Dean open. 

Dean cried out when he felt Cas’ tongue delve into his body and lick and suck at his rim. Eventually Dean realized that he was begging Cas, calling his name. Cas finally slid a finger into him. He never stopped his tongue as he fingered Dean open. 

Before long Cas had three fingers deep inside Dean and lapping up any slick that made it past those fingers. Dean’s legs were trembling with need as Cas asked, “Do you need another finger Dean, or are you ready?” 

Dean knew what he wanted but he also knew that he should answer Cas honestly, “I don’t know, you’re pretty hung man. I think I could take it, but you’d have to go slow.” 

“Is that what you want?” Cas asked against his lower back as he moved his fingers against Dean’s prostate, making him cry out. 

“I just want you inside me. I  _ need _ you inside me.” Dean didn’t think he could wait any longer. “Please, Cas.” 

Another low growl, a sound that was quickly becoming one of Dean’s favorites, came from Cas. A whimper escaped him as Cas withdrew his fingers. Cas made the most beautiful moans as Dean listened to him lick and suck his fingers clean. 

After a moment, Cas’ hands were running up Deans side and Cas was leaning over him. Dean pressed his ass back against the hard length he could feel against his ass. “Are you ready, Dean?”

Dean’s answer was a breathless “Yes.” 

“Turn over for me. I want to see you as I finally give you what you need.” Cas sat up and watched as Dean turned over and even went as far as moving to lay his head on the pillows. 

Dean watched as Cas moved on the bed, muscles moving in ways that Dean wished he could have seen when they were teens. Cas was so much  _ more _ now. Dean was so gone. 

Dean opened his legs for Cas as he crawled closer to Dean. Dean moaned into the kiss as he tasted himself on Cas’ mouth and tongue. Dean lifted his legs and wrapped them loosely around Cas’ waist.

In this position, he felt himself open even more for Cas and tried not to buck against him as he felt Cas’ hardness rub against his wetness. “Are you sure you want this tonight, Dean?” Cas asked once more. 

“If you deny me this tonight, Cas, I swear they will never find your body.” Dean watched as Cas’ face lit up with his soft laughter. 

“Alright, love. I will give you  _ exactly _ what you need.” Cas moved his arm between them and took himself in hand. 

Dean felt Cas rub himself against Dean’s opening and Dean surged up to lock his mouth with Cas’ again. Not soon enough, Cas was pressing himself into Dean slowly. He probably  _ should  _ have allowed Cas to prep him even more but the stretch and slight burn was helping Dean from coming right then. 

As soon as the head of Cas’ cock was pressed inside, the rest of Cas’ length easily slid slowly inside. Dean could feel Cas’ thigh quiver with the restraint necessary to hold him back from just  _ taking _ Dean. It felt like forever before Cas’ was flush against him, buried to the root and throbbing inside of Dean. 

“Fucking, fuck, Dean,” Cas’ voice wavered, “you’re so  _ tight _ and…fuck...so hot.” Cas leaned down and kissed Dean, messy and perfect. “I don’t know how long I can last. You’re fucking perfect, Dean.” 

Dean wrapped his legs and arms tighter around Cas and gave him the time they both needed to adjust. “ _ You’re _ perfect, Cas.” 

Cas kissed him again, claiming Deans mouth in a way no one ever has. Dean let his fingers slide over Cas’ back, the image of his wings in Dean’s mind. He could see himself laying in bed with Cas tracing each wing for hours. That thought didn’t scare him at all, instead it made him ache with need. 

“I need you to move, baby. Please.” Dean pleaded. 

Cas slowly pulled out, they both groaned at the feeling. Cas slowly pressed back in, filling Dean up and making him moan again. Dean was already so close, so full, he wasn’t going to last much longer. 

“Come on, baby, come on.” Dean pressed his feet to the top of Cas’ ass to urge him to move faster and go deeper. Cas still took his time. 

“Dean, I’m not… I’m not going to last long. I’m sorry.” Cas pressed in deep as he spoke. 

“‘Sfine. Just, please. We can worry about stamina later.” Dean dug his nails lightly into Cas’ shoulders as he picked up the pace. 

Cas moved inside of him, faster and deeper. Dean could feel Cas’ knot start to swell as he lifted his hips to meet each one of Cas’ thrusts. He felt his knot stretch him even more as it slipped inside and then back out, each time pulling a moan from Dean and a soft grunt from Cas. 

Finally, Dean felt Cas’ knot catch. Cas pumped into him as much as the limited space allowed. His knot pressed against Dean’s prostate and Dean took one hand and wrapped it around his own cock as the sensation of being filled by his alpha  _ finally _ tipped him over with only a couple of quick strokes. 

Dean felt his orgasm wash over him, it felt like electricity under his skin from his toes to his head. He felt himself tighten around Cas as he covered his hand and stomach in his own come. The shout that Cas let out only added to Dean’s pleasure as Cas spilled deep inside him. 

Cas’ knot pulsed inside him, pressing against his prostate each time and sending more waves of pleasure through his body to the point it was almost too much. Dean felt so hot, so full, so complete, with Cas here with him, buried deep inside of him. 

After a few minutes and a few more orgasms, Cas barely stopped himself from collapsing on top of Dean. “Holy fuck, Dean.” 

Dean laughed, “Yeah. yeah.” 

“I love you. So much. That was perfect.” Cas peppered Dean’s skin with kisses and licked at the sweat there, sucking bruises on his collarbone as they both caught their breath and let their hearts settle down. 

“You’re gonna leave a mark.” Dean couldn’t keep the smile off his face.

“Good. Let the world know that you’re taken.” Cas continued to suck at the mark, Dean had no doubt it would be a deep purple the next day and probably barely able to hide. 

“Yes, I am. I’m all yours, Cas.” He felt Cas’ smile against his skin. 

“All mine.” Cas’ mouth moved to Dean’s scent gland and nipped at it again, causing Dean to moan and tighten around Cas which only made Cas moan against the spot Cas was sure to leave his mating bite one day.

“I wouldn’t have it any other way. I’ve been yours for a long time.” Dean smiled as Cas looked up at him.

“I’ve always been yours, Dean. I will be yours forever.” Cas smiled and kissed him softly. 

Dean finally felt complete as he settled in to nuzzle his alpha. He couldn’t wait to spend his life with him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you enjoyed and want to come yell at me about it you can find me on Tumblr as [FormidablePassion](http://formidablepassion.tumblr.com)  
> I promise I’m nice.
> 
> I will be going back over the first three chapters soon and making small changes and having them beta'd so I can edit them and make them that much better. Thank you for sticking through this!

**Author's Note:**

> This is my very first A/B/O fic. I did it the way that I wanted. I hope that you enjoy.


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